


Sacrifice

by officialarrow



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 19:24:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 37,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3541151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/officialarrow/pseuds/officialarrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of a man seeking revenge and a woman stealing his heart, but flashes to the future reveals a tragic end to their story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Time

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this is actually based on a story and characters I developed myself, and I sort of put the Arrow characters in there and edited the story so that it fits in with lots of elements of the show. I did this once before (I sort of failed) and this is actually based on the same story, only I've changed it so much that it is completely different. In this I won't use as much supernatural elements as the previous one. Hope you like it! Please comment your thoughts!

 

 

_Time - Hans Zimmer_

_2027_

_Oliver Queen_

 

"Where is she now, what is she doing?"

"I don't know, I think she married some CEO guy and moved to Central City."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Sad, I wish it would be me, but I'm just glad she moved on. I have come to terms with my situation"

"And what is that situation?"

"You know the basics. You don't want to know more, believe me. The story is... it's not a story I'm proud of, and believe me when I say you do not want to know."

"Oliver, I'm here to listen. Anything you say is just between you and me. Tell me everything."

Oliver took a deep breath as he stared over at his therapist. His eyes were glassy, as they had been for seven years now. His face looked tired, he had let his beard grow out quite a bit and the gray hairs had started to take over both in his beard and his hair.

"Everything?"

 

 

 

 


	2. If I Had A Heart

_If I had a heart I could love you_  
If I had a voice I would sing  
After the night when I wake up  
I'll see what tomorrow brings

_-Fever Ray_

_2015_

_Felicity Smoak_

_"Breaking news! Oliver Queen has taken over the family company. After his father died two years ago the company was left unattended but now has been passed on to his son, who only a month ago came home from five years of being missing in action from the army. Mr. Queen has not commented on the recent events."_

"You must be feeling pretty lucky to have gotten a job interview at Queen Consolidated." Sara said as they ate dinner in front of the television. "And I heard Oliver himself handles the interviews."

"I'm super nervous. I mean have you seen him? He's gorgeous. Well, he used to look cuter before he went to the army. I mean I was only 13 at the time he enlisted but I thought he looked so cute with that short cut hair and well he was only 20 years old. Now it's twelve years later and he looks more scary with the beard and the longer hair. Well, not scary, the hair is amazing and beautiful and it's not like I wouldn't jump his bones if I got the chance. Oh god, no that came out wrong. Well not wrong, of course I would do that, but still I was not planning on saying that, I was gonna say..."

"I think I've heard enough, and I agree. He's intimidating, but in a hot way. And the beard looks totally hot too." Sara said and shot her a dirty look.

"Okay... Are you finished? Because I could really use a drink right now..."

"Let's go!" Sara said and rushed into the bathroom to get ready to go down to the bar.

 

>>\--------------->

 

"I think I'm gonna go home." Felicity said to Sara, who was drunk and busy making out with a girl Felicity had never seen before.

"No! Stay, me and... uh, what was your name again?" Sara said drunkenly.

"Nyssa." The girl said and laughed. Clearly she was drunk too.

"Yes! Me and Nyssa are going to find a guy for you! Maybe that mysterious fella over at the bar?" Sara said and pointed to a man in a leather jacket with a hood pulled over his head drinking skotch over at the bar.

"No, I'm tired and I've got that interview tomorrow. I need to rest, besides I think I've gotten enough to drink, I don't want a hangover at the interview."

After a few minutes of protest from Sara, Felicity finally was able to leave. She decided to walk home, to clear her head for the interview the next day. Her apartment weren't as close as Sara's, but she needed the walk.

When she got close to her apartment, she thought she heard something behind her. She quickly turned around, but there were nothing there.

"Who's there?" She yelled, her voice shaking.

No one answered.

Suddenly someone grabbed her from behind.

"Hello gorgeous. You look like you've got a few dollars in your purse. Give me everything right now." The man holding her put a hand in front of her mouth to keep her from shouting and dragged her into a dark alley.

"Maybe you can give me something else too..." The man laughed.

Suddenly she felt the man grunt in pain and he let go of her and fell to the ground. When she looked down at him an arrow stuck out from his eye. A dark figure approached her, it was the man who had shot the arrow.

"Please don't hurt me!" She cried.

"I'm not going to, but are you alright? The man didn't hurt you did he?" A deep voice asked her calmly.

"No I'm fine..." She could barely see his face, but a flash of light from a car made it possible to see his eyes. He was wearing a green leather outfit, a green hood and a green mask, but she could see his blue eyes.

"Who are you?" She asked with a shaky voice.

"I'm the Arrow." He said and disappeared in the shadows.

 

>>\--------------->

 

As Felicity sat and waited for her interview with Oliver Queen, she could not stop thinking about the night before. Who was that man who saved her? Why did he save her?

"We are so sorry for the delay Ms. Smoak, Mr. Queen will be ready for you in just a minute."

"It's alright, thank you."

She waited a few minutes before she saw several people in suits leaving the conference room, and the last one who came out was Oliver Queen. He looked so serious and it was like he showed no emotions at all. He was buttoning his black suit jacket, and straightened his silver gray tie.

Then he looked over at her and met her eyes.

Oh god, it was him. She reckognized his blue eyes.

The man who saved her last night.

 

 

 


	3. Smoke And Mirrors

_All I believe, is it a dream?_  
That comes crashing down on me?  
All that I own, is it just smoke and mirrors?  
I wanna believe (oh)  
But all that I own, is it just smoke and mirrors?

- _Imagine Dragons_

 

_2027_

_Oliver Queen_

"Tell me about when you first met her. What was your first impression of her?"

"She was interviewed by me for a job in IT, and she seemed more than fit for the job. She was the top of her class in MIT and she seemed very bright. A little awkward, but that was something I found interesting. I had been gone for twelve years and all that I had known was either people forcing me to do things I never imagined doing or enemies that drove me to do them. But with her, it was like she had this light inside her. I don't think she knew, because it was a part of her. And for a month all the people I had talked to was either lawyers or people that wanted something from me or wanted to ask me about my past. So to suddenly have someone there who I could actually smile to was like a switch was turned on inside me. Suddenly I started to depend on her. I needed that light in my life,  and it was strange. She quickly became something I had never had in my life before."

"Someone you truly loved?"

"No, it wasn't like love at first sight. She became my best friend, and my support for a while. My light. My family. I had never had a real family. My mother died when I was young and I don't remember much of her, my father was always busy with the company and people thought I was this rich boy who had everything, but I still had nothing."

"I always assumed your relationship was romantic from the start."

"That was always in the news, because we were such good friends. No, the romance didn't start at once, but our first kiss was after this fundraiser we attended and after she shared a dance with a friend of mine who she had started to really like. We had a confrontation where I, in a way, told her I really cared about her and fled from the fundraiser. At the mansion she asked me about what happened and I told her and we kissed."

"Was that when you realized you loved her?"

"No, that came way before. We were eating dinner together at the mansion, which at the time she was living in, and we were talking and laughing and when she was laughing so much that she had to close her eyes it hit me. But I'm not the best at sharing my feelings so I didn't tell her then."

"When did you tell her?"

"I told her when the city was under the terrorist attack, and I didn't know if I were coming back."

"Did you really love her?"

"I did. I really did, and I still do."

"Why aren't you with her then? What happened?"

"There is a reason to why I'm here. And you know I came here willingly. After I thought she died in my arms I became so depressed and I was starting to feel myself becoming insane again. I thought I had lost her, and I always said I could never cope without her. So unlike last time when I was put in a cell, I came here willingly to seek help. It wasn't until after a year in here that I found out she hadn't really died."

"And you didn't want to go back to her?"

"She was better off without me, they both were. My family didn't deserve to have to go through watching me while I was like this."

"But you got better with time? I see other doctors who referred you to others have said you seemed calm and in control."

"I guess her death, even if it wasn't real, never really left me."

"But now you feel she is better off without you?"

"Yes, a friend once told me that even though I love her like no one else, she would never really be safe with me. She was right."

"You see yourself as a danger for her? Were you ever afraid of hurting her physically yourself? Did that ever happen?"

"Once, I was having a bad dream. It was right after the wedding and we were sleeping. After that I started to wonder if what Sara had said to me about her being safe might have been true. But I chose to ignore that feeling. I had just married her, and I didn't want to let go of that happiness I had gotten. It was selfish."

"But why was it selfish for you to have happiness?"

"Because I was supposed to sacrifice my own happiness to protect the city."

"Why were you supposed to protect the city?"

"Because I was the Arrow."

"Did she know?"

"Yes."

"When did you tell her?"

"She figured it out the first time we met, at the interview."


	4. 505

 

_I'm going back to 505..._

Stop and wait a sec,  
Oh when you look at me like that my darling,  
What did you expect,  
I probably still adore you with your hands around my neck,  
Or I did last time I checked,  
Not shy of a spark,  
A knife twists at the thought that I should fall short of the mark,  
Frightened by the bite though its no harsher than the bark,  
Middle of adventure,  
such a perfect place to start, 

- _Arctic Monkeys_

_2015_

_Oliver Queen_

Oliver walked into his office with the girl applying for the job behind him. Had he reckognized her? Sure, of course he had. It had only been a few hours since he'd rescued her. But in his focused mind he pushed away that thought to not let it affect the interview. He started searching through the papers on his desk for her application.

"Hello Miss... Smoak." He said when he found it, stretching out his hand to greet her. She looked hesitant and he got the feeling she was a little scared at first, but after a little while she took his hand.

"My name is Oliver Queen." He said while sitting down in his chair while buttoning his suit jacket. "From the looks of your application you are quite a strong applyer for this job. If it were me, I'd give you the job without the interview, but I do have a code I have to go through. I like to meet the people I hire, see if they are someone worthy of the job and my trust."

"It's just a job in IT." She said, not sure why he would use the word 'trust'.

"Still, you might be surprised with how far thouroughness can get you." It went quiet for a while.

"You don't say much, do you? It's fine, I know your look. You've seen me before. Not a shock. I've been told I look more intimidating than I did before I joined the army. But for me to give you this job, I would like you to talk a little."

"I'm sorry, I usually do. Believe me, most of the time I need to shut myself up because I say too much, but now I'm looking at you and I'm trying as hard as I can not to stare at you too much, not that you're not fun to stare at, believe me you are incredibly attractive and mysterious, and oh god there you go. That's one of the reasons I'm not talking because when I do I usually have no filter and say everything that pops up in my head."

He could not help but smile a little. It was unusual for him, he hadn't smiled properly like this in eight years. There was something special about her.

"I see. Well, continue, I don't mind the ramble. In fact I find it entertaining if you believe it."

"Well I guess there is a lot where that came from."

"Well then, have at it."

"But... What do you want me to say?" He looked at her shocked, she clearly hadn't been on an interview like this before.

"What qualificates you for this job? What do you think is your strongest traits and qualifications."

"Well... I..." She stopped talking for a while, she just stared at him, like she was in shock and scared.

"What is it? You look at me like that, tells me you are not telling me something."

"No... I just..." And like last time, she just stopped talking.

"Miss Smoak if you won't tell me what it is, or you won't talk at all on this interview I see no other option than for you to leave. I am disappointed though, I did hope you had what it took to gain my trust and to handle a job like this. This job however, is for someone I can trust to be my own IT worker."

"No! No, I do want this job!"

"Well there you go. Now, tell me what it is. Believe me, normally I'm not much of a talker either, but please."

"I reckognize you." He got a little confused as she told him.

"What do you mean? I am usually all over the news these days so you need to be a little bit more specific if I'm going to..."

"I reckognize you from last night." He went silent. His face lost all expression, even though there hadn't been much of one before.

"You saved me, and then I saw your eyes."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Miss Smoak."

"From the look of your face when I told you, I'd say differently."

It went quiet for a while.

"You're the Arrow. The man who has been killing guys for the last few years." She said quietly.

"Yes I am."

It went quiet again.

"This is a secret you cannot tell anyone. If you do tell someone, you'll regret it."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Do I have to?"

He could see she was thinking.

"No, but I'd like an explanation."

"You'll get one. Now that you know, I can tell you the purpose of this job." He said, still not showing any form of emotion except maybe anger. However, he had remained calm.

"This was a job intended to be my IT help for when I take down people as the Arrow. The reason behind that is that I've been gone for 12 years and in that time I haven't exactly been majoring in computer science, in fact I'm not sure I even remember using one. Now this is quite good actually, now I don't have to make up cover stories."

"Why would I help you?"

"Because I know what happened to your brother."

Her face went pale.

"What do you mean?"

"There are people in this city, Starling City, who use people for money and power, who tears family apart. I was sold out by one of them when I was in the army, and I intend to get my revenge. And I'm prepared to give you yours."

"My brother died."

"No he didn't. I'll explain everything to you, but short story is he was sold by one of the millionares in this city who had kidnapped him and gave him away to the League of Assasins. He was a wanted man by the League, and they paid that man who gave away his position to them. His name is Adam Hunt."

She looked shocked, but mostly sad.

"Come to my mansion when you have time, I'll explain everything to you, my entire story including your brother. Until then I'll give you this, maybe it will spark your curiosity. When you do want to know, you can give this back to me." He gave her a bracelet with an old green object on it.

It was an old arrowhead.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here's another chapter.  
> Just wanted to tell you guys that I hope you like it, and just so you know I already have the ending planned out. Oh, I hope many of you can't predict it... :)


	5. Stop And Stare

_ _

_This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us_  
It's time to make our move, I'm shaking off the rust  
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here  
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years

Steady hands, just take the wheel...  
And every glance is killing me  
Time to make one last appeal  
For the life I lead  
  
Stop and stare  
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere  
Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared  
But I've become what I can't be, oh  
Stop and stare  
You start to wonder why you're here not there  
And you'd give anything to get what's fair  
But fair ain't what you really need  
Oh, can you see what I see?

_-OneRepublic_

_2015_

_Felicity Smoak_

She was driving her car to his mansion. It was in the middle of the night. What was she doing? She just realized she hadn't thought about this enough. But then again, it was just to get an explanation, to know his story. Nothing more. Yeah, nothing more. At least that was what she was going for. Her grip on the steering wheel had tightened, and she was starting to get nervous. What was she doing? Well, she was driving to Oliver Queen's mansion in the middle of the night to hear his story of how he became a murderous vigilante. Oh well, you know, just the normal stuff...

What if she found herself wanting more? Wanting to feel the rush of what he was doing. And she wanted the answers. Her whole life people had kept secrets and she had never been given the right to know the truth, and after the second meeting with this man she was getting his whole story, a story probably no one else knew entirely. What is she found herself wanting revenge, to see how it felt? This man was so wrong, yet she craved to know his truth, and she found herself craving to join him. It felt so odd, he was so cold yet he felt different and well...  _right._

After talking to this man once he had somehow changed her in a way. Oh, he was dangerous but she had always thought that she would never be that girl going after those bad boys. Well, it wasn't like that. It was about his mission. And what was that mission? She needed the answers.

She drove her car onto the driveway, and it was like it never ended. When she finally reached the mansion her mouth fell open. It looked somehow like a castle. Beautiful. She parked her car right outside the mansion and rang the doorbell. She stood there for several minutes. The air was cold, it was in the middle of january, and she crossed her arms and tried to gather some warmth. Finally she heard someone open the door.

She was met with an almost naked Oliver Queen. His chest was bare and he was wearing a towel around his waist. His chest... oh _wow_.He was increidbly strong built and his abs... She knew she was staring too long without saying anything. His whole upper body was covered in gruesome scars. Each one were more gruesome than the other. 

"Felicity?" He finally said, while she was just staring. "Hello? Felicity?"

"Oh... I'm sorry was I disturbing your shower?"

"No, I was actually finished. It just takes a while to get to the door."

"You don't have maids or servants for that?"

"No, I live alone."

"In this big house?"

"Yes, it was my father's."

"Oh right." He was looking her right in the eyes. His eyes were so incredible, a beautiful blue color, but she could see a hint of green right by the pupils. She notice him breaking their stare to look at her arms. She hadn't noticed she was shivering.

"You're cold. Come on in, I'll make some coffee." He looked at his watch. "It's pretty late, and it's gonna take a while to tell you my story."

She followed him inside the house, it felt even bigger on the inside.

"I'm just gonna go put on some clothes, the kitchen is right in there. I have a coffee maker, and I trust you know how to use one. Just make yourself one."

She went inside the kitchen and made herself and Oliver a coffee. When she heard him coming down the main stairs she carried the cups out of the kitchen.

"Thank you. Let's sit down."

They both went in to the living room (at least one of them) and sat down on their own couches facing each other.

"Now let me tell you everything."

"Start with my brother."

"It's complicated. The secrets about this goes so far that even I don't know them. However I do know the main story."

"Tell me."

"When your brother was 22, how old were you?"

"I was 5 years old."

"Right. Well that might be why you didn't know what really happened. He didn't die as you thought, he was killed, or assasinated."

"By the league of assasins?"

"No, the league would never have targeted him, after my understanding."

"Then what happened?"

"Someone inside the league, not directly by the league itself. Meaning it wasn't ordered, which means it was personal. I don't know why he would never have been killed by the league itself, but I've had my suspicions. After a while, you also hear whispers which confirms your suspicions."

"What...?"

"There was an old prophecy, that when Ra's Al Ghul spared a life it would mean the person was his child. And rumours said he had found love somewhere while on a mission."

"What are you saying?"

"You know what I'm saying."


	6. Diamonds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this important! In this chapter, I'm going to do a time jump! Because I actually imagined this as a tv series when I made it up with my own characters and such I was actually imagining it having lots of seasons and each having a different storyline which would take forever to write if I'm going to write so detailed. So this is going to be about 5 months later from where we left off in 2015. :) Enjoy!

_Never wanna hide the truth from you_  
Just hang my head what I put you through  
I wasn't good enough  
When what's done is done love  
When it's all said and done  
  
But I'm  
No good next to Diamonds  
When I'm too close to start to fade  
Are you angry with me now  
Are you angry cause I'm to blame

Cause I fall away  
Further than I ever was

- _The Boxer Rebellion_

_2015_

_Oliver Queen_

_5 months later_

When she had joined him in his crusade all those months ago, he never would have thought she would be so important. Not only because she helped him take down people from his father's list, but because she made him feel like he wasn't alone. In 5 months, she had become his family, his best friend and maybe something more. She had changed him, drastically. But he didn't see that as a bad thing, because she was making him a better person while still getting revenge. He had never imagined she would make him better, but he was grateful to have her in his life. When her apartment had been robbed last month Oliver had insisted she had to come live in the mansion. He had told her it was lonely to live alone in a big house like this and that it would become easier for them to work on their crusade when they both lived in the mansion. So she did, and that was the leading event to what he was freaking out about right now.

He was sitting in his office which had glass walls all over it, and he was sitting in his chair clicking a pencil while he was staring out the window. Last week, they had been eating dinner while watching a tv show she had insisted they'd see. Game of Thrones, he believed it was called. He remembered it wasn't the ideal show to watch while eating dinner. They had started talking suddenly, not really paying attention to the episode (which he was surprised by, it was an excellent series. He had rewatched the episode when she had gone to bed.). They were making jokes, and telling old funny stories from the past. He was telling her about when he and his best friend Tommy had filled his father's pool with beer, and they had gotten in so much trouble. Suddenly she had laughed so much that she had to close her eyes, and he realized something. He cared for her, he  _really_ had started to care for her. Of course, in the beginning he did care for her, but not in this way. Not in the same way he was feeling now.

That brings us to where he was right now. Sitting there thinking about her. The reason to why he did this about a week later, was because she had just told him she had started dating this guy. That made him mad, _really_ mad. He almost crushed the pen he was holding in his hand, because his grip had tightened by the thought of the man she was dating.

After his realization he had invited her to go to a fundraiser he was invited to. And she took the invitation, but now she was taking  _him._  The fundraiser was tonight, and he was going to have to watch them dance. He felt sick. 

He heard a knock on his door.

"Hey Oliver, just wondering when you'll be going home."

Felicity talking snapped him out of his thoughts.

"You okay?"

"Hm? Yeah, I'm fine, I was just thinking about business stuff. You want a ride home?"

"Yeah that was what I was going to ask you because we drove your car this morning, but I also need to get approval for my dress."

"Yeah sure, I'm all done now."

"You sure? You looked like you were really in deep thoughts. If you still need more time I'll just grab a taxi and I'll..."

"No! No, it's fine. It's two hours until it starts, we're gonna need all the time we can get. And I'll approve your dress on one condition."

"What?"

"I get a dance with you later today."

"I thought you said you didn't dance? Here I thought I knew all there was to know about you and then I find out you secretly like do dance? Oliver Queen you are making it very hard to be your best friend." She joked with a smile.

"Ha-ha, no you know me better than I do. You are right, I don't dance." She looked at him confused.

"Then why would you...?" He cut her off.

"I only dance when it's with the right person."

She looked at him shocked, in a way. It went silent for a while before he saw her smile. The distance between them was starting to get shorter and shorter, without them even noticing it.

"I'm gonna go pack my stuff and then go down to the car." She said quietly.

"See you there." He said softly, looking directly into her eyes.

"See you there." She repeated, still not moving from where she stood.

He then snapped out of their moment. Looking up and laughing before stepping back to his desk and packing his stuff.

She laughed awkwardly before she started walking out of his office.

When she was gone he tried to look after her. She had gone to her office.

"Maybe in another world where I wasn't a killer, and you weren't the innocent girl we could be together. But we are, and this is the world we are doomed to live in." He thought to himself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the fundraiser. I might write it today if I get time :)  
> In one of the next chapters I'll introduce Diggle and Tommy into the story! :)


	7. Dead In The Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Felicity is wearing the same outfit and look she is wearing in 3x17, as we have seen on the photos :).

_If I was not myself_  
And you were someone else  
I'd say so much to you  
And I would tell the truth  
'Cause I can hardly breathe  
When your hands let go of me  
The ice is thinning out  
And my feet brace themselves  
  
I'm there in the water  
Still looking for ya  
I'm there in the water  
Can't you see, can't you see?

 I'm dead in the water  
Still looking for ya  
I'm dead in the water  
Can't you see, can't you see?

_-Ellie Goulding_

_2015_

_Oliver Queen_

He was buttoning his white shirt, his navy blue suit jacket laying on the bed behind him. When he finished, he tied his black bow tie and put on his suit jacket. He styled his hair and honed his beard a little, didn't shave it off, just made it more 'clean'. He started to walk downstairs, and was met by Felicity. He was in the middle of the stairs when he stopped. She turned around, and -  _wow._ His mouth fell open at the sight of her. She was wearing a red dress, and she looked stunning in it.

"So... Do you approve?" She said with a smile, lifting out her arms in a pose.

"Definetly."

"Well, excellent then I don't have to change." She looked at him and smiled, his mouth was still open. He shaked his head to snap out of it.

"You look beautiful." He said softly. It was no lie.

"Thank you, you don't look so bad yourself, handsome." He smiled at her and walked down the rest of the stairs.

"When's Barry picking you up?"

"Oh, he said he'd be here any minute. But it looks like he might be running a bit late."

"Who in their right mind would ever be late for you?" He said. He hadn't even thought about what he had said before he had said it. It just blurted out of him.

She laughed, he could tell it was a nervous laughter.

"Well, I should get going." Oliver finally said and waved her a goddbye before opening the door.

"See you there." She said softly.

"See you there." He whispered to himself as he got into his car.

 

>>\--------------->

 

Oliver was standing at the fundraiser with a champagne glass in his hands, the music was playing in the background and several people were dancing. It had come to his realization that he did not know many of these people anymore. Most of the people he reckognized were people who had worked with his father. It had been twelve years, and some had even gotten gray hair.

"Mr. Queen." A man's voice said, pulling his focus off of the dancefloor. He turned around. He was faced with the one and only Malcolm Merlyn, CEO of Merlyn Global and old friend and business partner of his father. He stretched out his hand as a gesture.

"Mr. Merlyn." He took his hand and shaked it.

"I see twelve years has done rather good to you, you look like a man." He said. Trying to chat politely.

"Yeah well, four years in the army and then eight years a prisoner will do that to you." He shot back.

Malcolm Merlyn was someone the media always described as a friend to his father. Only he knew the truth, he would always hide in the halls of their mansion and listen to their conversations, and that's where he learnt the truth. Malcolm Merlyn was not a true friend, he was sick. He had tried to blackmail Oliver's father into a terrorist attack on the city, one that would supposedly get rid of the crime in the city.

"I used to say you looked like your father, but I knew your father for a long time. You have, in a way, grown to be stronger than him."

"I wouldn't say that."

"You and me should get together soon, discuss our companies future over a..."

"As we grow we also realize that we need to learn from our mistakes and that it's the only way to succeed. My companies future is up to me to decide, I won't do the same mistakes that my father did. It's the only way to make that company a better one." Oliver interrupted him. Malcolm looked at Oliver with a slight smirk. He then started to laugh.

"I see those 12 years made you stronger, yes, but they have also destroyed you. What has happened to Oliver Queen, who is Oliver Queen? You know, it's sayings like that one that makes me wonder where your loyalties lie."

"You have no idea who I am."

"You tell yourself that, don't you. Someone so consumed with secrets and lies should have a slight idea at who actually knows them. The deepest of them, maybe even the ones you have made yourself forgotten. Maybe the ones that will drive you mentally insane." Malcolm said and buttoned his suit jacket before he turned around.

"You should be more careful on who you choose to your allies, Mr. Queen. We wouldn't want this city to crumble at your hands." With that he left. A shocked Oliver stared at him as he picked up a class of champagne, turned to Oliver and lifted his glass at him. 

"Oliver!" A familiar voice called. He turned around to see Felicity.

"What is it? You look...?"

"I'm fine. When did you get here?" 

"Oh a while ago, me and Barry wanted to dance once we got here, and I told him to go talk to one of his science rolemodels while I danced with you, as promised."

"You don't have to, I mean you are here with Barry, I wouldn't want to make things uncomfortable..."

"Nonsense! Come on!" She grabbed his hand, the touch did not go unnoticed by Oliver. She dragged him out to the dancefloor and put one of her hands around his shoulders and one waiting for his hand. He replied with a hand around her waist and he took his hand in hers. They swayed around while the piano music played in the background. Oliver felt as thought it was just them, and everything and everyone else just disappeared.

"You, sir, are actually not a bad dancer. I always assumed you were bad, since you said you didn't dance. Well the, now I know one more thing about you. I mean Oliver, it is really stressful being your friend, I hardly know anything about what happened to you before the army..."

"Best friend. Felicity, you are not my friend, you are my best friend. There is no one like you, and I can say with certainty that there is no one who knows more about me than you. You can ask me anything."

"Okay, past girlfriends - go!"

"Uh, let's see. I've had one serious girlfriend, but we broke up when I joined the army. Laurel Lance."

"Sara's cousin?"

"Yes. I believe so."

"You've only had one?"

"Yes."

"Wow, I mean -  _wow._ Look at you! What girl wouldn't want you?"

"I can think of one." He looked in her eyes, she looked in his.

"I can't."

It went quiet for a while as they danced. She put both of her arms over his shoulders and they both danced closer to each other.

"Well, we should get you a girlfriend then. Then you could get married, start a family..."

"Family?"

"Yes a wife and kids. I think it would make you happy."

"No I don't want kids."

"You... you don't?"

"No I woudn't be a good father."

"I don't think that's true at all."

"Well, I don't need kids and a wife to have a family. I have you, you are my family."

Felicity smiled up at him.

"May I take over?" Barry suddenly interrupted.

"Yeah... yeah sure." Oliver said, in a disappointed tone.

He went up the stairs, grabbed a glass of champagne and looked over the dancing couples. He then looked at Barry and Felicity, who were dancing really close, so close that their foreheads touched. He drank all of the champagne in one gulp.

Suddenly he felt like he didn't have control over himself anymore. His anger took over, and smashed the glass in the floor. Everyone gasped and stopped dancing, but he didn't see Felicity looking up at him worried becuase he was busy rushing the other way out of the room. He went upstairs of the mansion. Out to the balcony.

He loosened his bow tie and breathed out into the night. The view up here weren't as good as the balcony at his mansion, here they only had a view of the gardens, while he had a view of the whole city, since his mansion were sort of outside the city on a hill so he could see the beauty of the... oh God. He started laughing at what he had started thinking about. He had smashed a glass and then stormed out, and now he was thinking of balconies? Ridiculous. He laughed a bit more nervously and felt himself sweating.

"Oliver?" He heard Felicity say. He didn't turn around. Instead he put both his hands on the ledge and leaned over sighing. 

"Are you okay?"

"No, Felicity I am not okay!"

"What is it then?"

"I see you out there, and we dance and then you go dance with him? I'm sorry but I just... I can't watch that."

"Oliver... If you're afraid of trusting Barry, he is not dangerous."

"No what I mean is that I see his hands on you and then I go white with rage. I call you my family, and you go find yourself another one. What if I lose you to him? What if I lose my family?" He was shouting now.

"Oliver, I'm not gonna..." He interrupted her before she could finish.

"You're the only family I've ever had. I know we've only known each other for five months, but what we have is more true than I have ever had with anyone. My father was never home, no one ever stayed in my life. No one ever made me smile, so when I meet you and you somehow made me smile after eight years of fucking hell you don't think that sends a sort of message? I know I'm fucked up, and I know I'm scary as shit, but I would never harm you because you are the person I have cared most for in my entire life."

"Oliver... what are you...?" He stepped closer towards her, and one step closer until he was so close that their noses almost touched. He placed her face in his hands and breathed out nervously.

"Oliver..."

"I'm sorry." He said, letting go of her face and rushing downstairs again.

 

>>\--------------->

 

He was standing on his balcony, looking over the city, he had needed to calm himself after getting home, and watching the city lights at night always did the trick. He had taken a shower at first, thinking that it would help, which it didn't. So, now he was standing out in the night shirtless and with one of the pants he usually worked out in.

"Hey." He suddenly heard behind him. He turned his head looking at her.

"Hey..."

"You rushed out so fast, I didn't know if you had gone home or not."

"Where's Barry?"

"He dropped me off here."

It went silent for a while as Oliver had continued watching the city. She went to stand beside him on his left side, watching the city too. Then after a while she turned to him.

"To change the subject for a while... Can I ask you something completely unrelated to what just happened."

"I told you, you can ask me anything."

"Tell me about your scars, and tattoos. I didn't know you had your whole back full of tattoos..."

He turned so that his back was facing her.

"They're beautiful, both the scars and the tattoos. I mean, they obviously look horrible... or I mean not horrible, but they looked like they hurt like a bitch. Not that I know anything about how you got them..."

"Just touch anyone and ask me."

"What about this one?" She touched something that looked like clawmarks.

"Fought a tiger."

"What? No, you're joking."

"No. It's true, it's one of the tests they make you go through to be a leader at the League."

"Wow, you have so many... it's almost like a map."

"Each and every scar represent one memory, a memory I would like to forget. All the tattoos were custom in the leauge. Each is kind of like you get a reward for doing something great."

"Wow."

"I said each and everyone represents a memory I would like to forget, that's not all true. Remember this one?" He turned around and showed her a bullet wound on his shoulder.

"I got this the first time we teamed up, and then after that you helped me sow up. I would never want to forget that."

They stared at each other for a while.

"Oliver.. what you told me, I have to admit something. You are my family too." He smiled at her.

"I meant what I said, I've never cared more for someone in my entire life..."

"Oliver..." She breathed out as he closed the space between them. His lips brushed with hers, it lingered, not yet touching. He was waiting for her to make a move, and she pressed her lips to him. They kissed softly at first, a shy first kiss. But then he laid his arms around her waist and back and kissed her more furiously. They kissed like that for a while, her hands going through his hair as she pressed him down to her. Suddenly he broke the kiss, their foreheads still touching. They both were panting.

Between breaths he looked at her.

"I love you."

 


	8. Friction

_Get down with the victim_  
We both know you need them  
You’re stuck in the middle  
Of all irrelevance  
And your heart is beating  
Cause you know that you gotta  
Get out of the middle  
And rise to the top now

When you’ve made it  
Won’t ya tell me what to do  
Cause I’m playin' it all wrong  
When you made it  
Won’t ya tell me what to do  
Cause I’m playin it all wrong

You can’t fight the friction  
So ease it of  
Can’t take the pressure  
So ease it off  
Don’t tell me to be strong  
Ease it off  
You can’t fight the friction  
So ease it off

- _Imagine Dragons_

_2010_

_Oliver Queen_

Heart racing, and with sweat all over his body he swung and hit his sword all around the training dummy. His katana blade was flying all around so quickly that it could almost have been invisible. Slade had ordered him to train more with the sword rather than his weapon of choice; the bow and arrow. Slade was his trainer here in the League and the leader. Ever since he had rescued him in the desert in the middle of nowhere after being attacked by a bomb while on patrol he had been taken in by the leauge and trained. His body had transformed into almost pure muscle. Sure, he had had a lot of training in the army, but after being trained by the finest soldiers, and killers in the world for three years, and his body was like a statue. He was one of the League's best assasins too, no doubt he got the biggest and best missions and on top of it all he owned the trust of Slade more than anyone else. He was still swinging his sword in the air before he noticed someone approaching. In one swift motion he swung his sword and his body around to face the person behind him. His sword was stopped by Slade, the leader of the League and no doubt the best swordsman ever seen, and he stopped the blade by grabbing it by both of his palms, like it was a fly.

"You need to get more control over your blade, kid. Sure you have talent, but make no mistake, talent doesn't make it all kid. You need skill and experience to be able to beat someone like me."

"There is no one like you."

"Sure, kid. You believe that, but that's because only a few has ever been worthy to meet the man who can beat me."

"Bullshit."

"Not bullshit, kid."

"What are you talking about?"

"You really believed I was the leader? No, kid. You haven't even seen the League yet." He let go of Oliver's blade and turned around placing both of his hands behind his back and walking slowly.

"You've only been in the training area. You really don't believe this is all, kid? There is a whole army that is exactly like you, some even better."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because you are done training. Sure, you will continue training as an official member of the League of Assasins."

"I wasn't already?"

"No, you were in training. Congratulations, kid. You're gonna meet Ra's Al Ghul himself. He requested it."

"Ra's Al Ghul? I thought he was just a myth? They said he was the one who founded the leage hundreds of years ago!"

"You know nothing, kid." He turned around and gestured him to follow him.

"You thought I was the worst killer out there? You thought I was the worst and most evil man in the world? You have no idea, kid. You think you've met the Devil, but he has only touched your soul. Now it's time to give it to him." In one quick movement Slade pushed a needle into Oliver's arm, and everything went black.

 

>>\--------------->

 

Oliver woke with a headache, and everything was dark. He could feel a hood over his head, and he was being dragged on the floor.

"Wha... what's happening?" He barely got out the words.

Suddenly he was being put down, and the hood was taken off. He could barely see anything. He was in a temple-like place only lit with candles, and there were men dressed in black outfits standing guard everywhere he could see. He was sitting on his knees in front of a throne, or whatever it was. He could see a dark figure sitting there.

"You are but a young boy?" The man sitting on the throne started speaking, in a low calmed voice. He sounded intimidating. It had to be Ra's Al Ghul. "I always assumed you were older, given the way Deathstroke spoke about you. He told me your skills with the bow and arrow exceeded all of our soldiers'. But you have only trained for three years, which means you must have talent. He also said you were developing skills with the sword too, that is good. The sword is our main weapon of choice. It has been so for several hundreds of years. In the League, it is very important for us to uphold our traditions. Which is why I wanted to see you. Normally we would only take in in-bread soldiers, or soldiers we choose ourselves from the villages around this area. American soldiers here are not common, there is actually just one besides you, and I don't mean Deathstroke. We have a few Australian soldiers. Also I don't normally meet with the soldiers in the League, only when in time it suits me. However, I was told you made up quite the fight when they took you in. Even after being injured from the attack before we came to the site. I was quite impressed. What was being described was a man not fearing death. Someone like that was worth meeting."

"How do you know I don't fear death? How do you know they're not just lying?"

"Mr. Queen you clearly don't understand our tradition and ways quite yet. We do not lie to each other in the League. It is a very important rule here. And we especially do not lie to _me._ So tell me Mr. Queen, are my men wrong or were they right about you?" Oliver didn't response.

"Do you fear death, Mr. Queen?" He said it again. His voice still staying calm. It was like there was no hint of emotion in his voice, no anger, nothing. Oliver hesitated once more. What was he supposed to say? That his four years in the army had fucked him up quite a bit on it's own, and that the three extra years here had only fucked him up more to the point where death was not instinctively something he feared? He used to fear death. After his mother died when he was young, he had asked his father about death. His answer had stayed with him, and it seemed as if it had sticked so much to him that he now acted out with those words in his head. It was stupid, not fearing death. Because the fear was something that kept him from actually dying, but now it might be getting him killed one day. 

"No." He said, calmly. He tried to sound like Ra's Al Ghul, with no emotion in his voice, but he was not like Ra's.

"Good answer, boy. I can see it in you, that I can expect great things from you. But I also see rebellion, and that I also can expect bad things."

"That really depends on who's definiton you see it from. And also whether or not you can actually see in the future."

"Hm, my first instinct might be right." He looked up, and then rose from the chair. He then walked towards Oliver slowly. Finally the light of the candles hit him and he could see his face. He was a scary man. His arabic features, his beard and his outfit consisting of a black outfit like the rest, a huge cloak, jewellery all over his entire outfit and a golden sword on his side that he was keeping his right hand on at all times was all facors in what made him scary. He was tall and muscular, and he looked like the definition of power.

"We shall see." He said softly, moving his right hand from his sword and to Oliver. He shook it as he looked into his eyes. They were dark, darker than he had ever seen.

 


	9. Fire And The Thud

_You showed me my tomorrow_  
Beside a box of matches  
A welcome threatening stir

My hopes of being stolen  
Might just ring true  
Depends who you prefer  
  
But if it's true you're gonna run away  
Tell me where, I'll meet you there

Am I snapping the excitement  
If I pack away the laughter, and tell you how it feels?  
And does burden come to meet you  
If I've questions of the feature that rolls on your dream reel

The day after you stole my heart  
Everything I touched told me it would be better shared with you, with you

And now you're hiding in my soup  
And this book reveals your face  
And you're splashing in my eyelids  
The concentration continually breaks  
I did request the mark you cast didn't heal as fast  
I hear your voice in silences  
Will the teasing of the fire be followed by the thud?

In the jostling crowd   
You're not allowed  
To tell the truth  
 And the photo booth's a liar!

**_Liar!_ **

There's a sharpened explanation  
But there's no screaming reason to enquire  
I'd like to poke them in their prying eyes with things  
They'd never see if it smacked them in their temples

_-Arctic Monkeys_

 

_2015_

_Oliver Queen_

_"Oliver..."_

A familiar voice could be heard as he was lying in his bed sleeping. He was sweating, his body shaking as the expression on his face had changed from confused to nervous. He was muttering words as he gripped the sheets and started to whisper "No!".

_"Oliver, they're gonna come for you. We're gonna come for you, Oliver."_

"No!"

_"And you can't hide. We know where you are."_

"No! Tommy..."

_"Slade will kill you. He will drive a sword through your chest, and as he does so you will watch your city burn. There is no escaping this time._

_You will be killed, and the city will see who you really are. You always run away from everything, Oliver. You ran away from your duties, and you ran away from me. You’re gonna run from her too, but you can’t run from us now, because we’re coming for you. Sooner than you’d expect, and then you will die.”_

_He could see him clearly now. Dressed in the League outfit, still as he remembered; muscular and just about shorter than him. He seemed like he remembered him, only if he looked at the details, he would see that he had dark circles under his eyes and his expression was a mixture of emotionless and sad. He looked worn out._

_“Tommy. What are you doing here?”_

_“There is no other safe way to tell you. To warn you.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Oliver you have to listen to me, you have to prepare yourself. The girl, she needs to be protected if you are going to continue being with her.”_

_“Why are you telling me this?”_

_“I care about you, even after what you did. Even after you left me.”_  
_Oliver turned around, not wanting to look at Tommy. He had been feeling guilty for just leaving him. But Tommy, he knew it from the start that Oliver was never a true Assassin. Not like Slade, nor like him._  
_“You are coming after me.” Oliver finally said after a while, turning back to Tommy._  
_“You knew it would happen as soon as you left. You know the ancient rules; you leave, you die.” Oliver closed his eyes and let out a nervous breath. “You thought being a part of the society, hiding in plain sight, would free you? That it would somehow protect you? No, Oliver, we are coming.”_

_“So, you said it was Slade who was going to kill me? Not Ra’s?”_

_“It is not a trial, Oliver, it is an execution.”_

_“I have all right to a trial by combat, and you guys know it too. That’s why you said it was Slade, because he is a master of swords, Ra’s knows I thought of him as a teacher and friend. But it still does not make any sense, Ra’s is the best fighter.”_

_“There is stuff you don’t know about, Oliver. You will know eventually.”_

_“What stuff?”_

_“I can’t tell you Oliver.”_

_“Tommy…”_

_“You better protect her while you can, Oliver. Because when we come for you, before he kills you, he will kill her, and then you will know the feeling of losing someone you love. That was my input in the plan, by the way.” Tommy was smirking, an evil smile._

_“You… I thought you cared about me.” Oliver was starting to get furious._

_“I don’t forgive easily, and I haven’t forgiven you, Oliver.”_

_“Tommy!”_

_“Enjoy being alive, Ollie. Because soon a blade will be stuck in your chest, and blood will pool out of your mouth. You will die alone. You will die.”_

“NO!” Oliver shouted so loud he woke up with a jolt. His body was all sweaty and shaky, and he was breathing nervously. Felicity ran into the room looking confused and sleepy a minute later.

“Oliver? Are you okay?” She said confused. “Did you have a nightmare?” She asked softly.

“No, I’m fine. It’s nothing.”

“It doesn’t look like nothing, tell me what you were dreaming about.”

He didn’t answer. He just lay there looking out the windows in the night.

“Oliver, tell me.” She said strictly.

Suddenly she started walking towards his bed, and lay herself under the sheets beside him.

“What are you doing?” He asked. They hadn’t really talked since last night when he had kissed her and told her he loved her. He had really just told her it was getting late and then he had gone to bed. Which was why she was laying in his bed more confusing.

“I’m staying here, to make sure you don’t have another nightmare. Now tell me about the one you were having just now. It will help, come on.”

“Fine… it was just…” He paused, kind of afraid of telling her about Tommy so soon.

“Yes? Continue…” He decided not to tell her the entire story about his history with Tommy, he had once before too, and she knew the basic stuff.

“You know about Tommy right?”

“Yes, you told me. He was your friend in the League. Why would you have a nightmare about him? Did something happen between you two?”

He hesitated before answering.

“A lot of stuff happened in the League. It was just a bad memory.”

“Oh, okay… Are you alright now?” She looked up at him with warm eyes, and he loved her eyes. The way the blue was so beautiful, or the way they would look into his and then everything always felt better.

“Yes, if you wanna go you can just…”

“No, I’m staying.” Oliver got confused.

“Are you sure…?”

“Yes.” She said, and moved to snuggle beside him. Laying her head and her hand on his naked, sweaty, chest.

“God, you’re sweaty.”

“Yes, well that happens to me when I have a bad dream.”

He put his arm around her and buried his face in her hair, smelling the fresh shampoo, indicating she had just showered after the event.

“Good night.” He muttered, but she was already asleep…

 

>>\--------------->

 

A knock on the door woke both Oliver and Felicity, when they looked outside it was sunny. They had definitely slept a long time. He hadn’t had any nightmare since he fell asleep. Which was strange, he always had nightmares. For the first time he hadn’t, and he knew it was because of Felicity.

“I think I need to get that.” He muttered against her hair softly.

“It’s warm here and cozy, also I was sleeping so good…”

“We should just stay here then… I can think of something we can do.” She laughed at what he said and hit his chest with the hand that was laying there. Then she got out of bed and then they heard another knock.

“It’s your house, Mr. Queen.” She said, and ran into his bathroom. He shook his head, and went out of bed and down the stairs to the door. He didn’t bother to put on clothes, so he was just in his pajamas pants. He opened it to find a man standing there in a suit.

“Mr. Queen?” He said.

“Yes. What can I do for you?”

“Uh, well I was wondering if I could have a word with you?” He said, reaching for something in his coat pocket he pulled out a badge and showed it to him. It was a police badge. “Detective John Diggle, with the SCPD.”

“What is it you want to talk about?”

“Perhaps we could take this inside?” He gestured for Oliver to let him in, and Oliver opened the door completely open and started walking up the stairs.

“Make yourself at home in the living room, I’ll just put on some decent clothes.” He said. Rushing towards his room he was met with Felicity in the door.

“Who is it? I heard voices, and I didn’t really want to interrupt so I…”

“It’s a detective from the SCPD. I need you to just stay the room for the time being. Just until I’ve heard what it is he wants to talk about. If he’s found out I’m the Arrow you escape through the hidden tunnels. You cannot be found here if I’m caught.”

“Hidden tunnels?” She asked in confusion.

“Under the stairs, there’s a hidden door there. I’ll explain it later.” He was starting to dress, putting on a blue shirt and beige pants.

“Look, it might not be that, but here, I’m bugging myself. You listen through our conversation, and if he arrests me you run, okay?”

“Okay.”

He walked out of his room and down the stairs again.

“Do you have company?” John Diggle asked.

“No, I just had to sort out a few stuff up on my room. The maid is coming pretty soon and can’t have all the files and such laying around in my room for her to look at.” He lied.

“Oh, okay. Well I was just going to ask you a few questions.”

“Please do.” He said, gesturing him to sit down in the couch.

“Well first of all, you came home six months ago, is that correct?”

“Yes, it was all over the news I suppose.”

“That is true.”

“Well, since your time after the army is still a mystery to us, well, not a complete one. We just will never quite know, I suppose. You have been a suspect for being the man dressing up in green and shooting people, assassinating, with a bow and arrow. However, since your time is still sort of a mystery, we can’t know for sure it is you, since the Arrow has been here long before you came home. So we ruled it out, yet still I have my suspicions. Your friend, Tommy Merlyn, disappeared shortly after you disappeared from the army. That is suspicious, won’t you say?”

“I did not know my friend had disappeared until six months ago, including finding out my father had died. When I came home it was like the closest thing to a family I had was gone.”

“I’m sorry about that, Mr. Queen. But in the last month we have gotten several calls from random people who have nothing in relation to each other who have said they have spotted someone looking like him. Having random calls like that raises suspicions, indeed, Mr. Queen. Or don’t you think?”

“What do you believe I have to do with this?”

“You are the only person who I believe could know something about this.”

“What about Mr. Merlyn?”

“He isn’t exactly in our lists of sane people, Mr. Queen.”

“And I am?”

“Well, after seeing you handle everything, we assumed you have your shit together.”

“Never assume anything about other people, Mr. Diggle. A friendly advice.”

“I’ll have that in mind. Now we also have something else. During the years you were gone we sometimes had murders, assassinations, from someone described the same way your friend was dressed in his descriptions. And last night, we had another assassination.”

“What? When?”

“Around midnight. I just wanted to know where you were at that time.”

“I was here, with… someone.”

“I thought you said you didn’t have company?”

“I didn’t at the time, I’m afraid she escaped without my knowing before I woke up.”

“Ah, well then. Could you give us a name? So we can confirm your statement?”

“Do you promise it will stay between us? It won’t get out?”

“Yes.”

“If this gets out, I will stop the money my company is donating to the SCPD.”

“I promise, Mr. Queen. It won’t get out. You have my word.”

“Felicity Smoak.”

“Okay. I’ll stop by her house later.”

“Actually, she lives here.”

“She does?”

“She needed a place to stay. She has gone out to buy some groceries.”

“I got the feeling she was someone you had a relationship with?”

“It’s complicated.”

He looked a bit confused at Oliver.

“I’ll tell her to come by the station when she gets back.”

“Yes... that will be nice of you. Thank you…” He said suspicious, and shook Oliver’s hand.

“I’ll be in touch.” He said as he walked out. Oliver clenched his fists.


	10. Beautiful Crime (Part 1)

Each step I left behind  
Each road you know is mine  
Walking on the line ten stories high  
Say you'll still be by my side. 

If I could take your hand  
If you could understand  
That I can barely breath the air is thin  
I fear the fall and where we'll land.

We fight every night for something  
When the sun sets we're both the same  
Half in the shadows  
Half burned in flames  
We can't look back for nothing  
Take what you need say your goodbyes  
I gave you everything  
And it's a beautiful crime.

Each breath I left behind  
Each breath you take is mine  
Walking on the line ten stories high  
Fear a fall you're asking why

We're leaving the things we lost  
Leaving the ones we've crossed  
I have to make an end so we begin  
To save my soul at any cost.

_This darkness is the light._

 

_-Tamer_

_2015_

_Oliver Queen_

_A sharp pain went through his body, and in the next second he felt like he was rushing downwards. A fall? Possibly. All he knew is that when he hit the water, he would be gone._

“Oliver, are you okay?” Felicity asked him as he was standing watching his green suit in the glass case. They were in their base of operations, which were one of the many destinations where the hidden tunnels led from the Queen mansion. It looked more like a cave, it’s dim lighting made it mysterious, you couldn’t see what hid in the corners. He didn’t want to be forced to use it, but after the dream and after the detective visited he had changed his mind. The dream, he feared, wasn’t a dream. The League had many secret drugs, one of them would make you able to control someone’s mind, or toy around with it if you knew how to control the person and knew their traits. He turned around to face Felicity, with heavy eyes and a hint of concern in them.

“No, I’m not. What have I achieved by my actions? I did everything and I planned everything so that I would have revenge, but revenge is not satisfying in the end. But what is?”

 

_“Dad I told you, I will not take over your company! I have made up my mind, I’m going to join the army.”_

_“Son, all I’ve ever wanted from you is to achieve everything you want in this life. You once told me after your mother died when you were little that you wanted to leave a mark on this world just as your mother dreamed of. To make a difference, and believe me I’m so proud of you for wanting to do this, but sometimes we have obligations to your families and legacies, to do what we are told to do. I believe you have a bigger chance of leaving a mark on this world if you have the power and resources to do so, which you will have if you take over my company, no – our company.”_

_“That is not the kind of mark I want to leave.”_

_“Then what is?”_

_“I want justice, to do what is right.”_

“Oliver, I think you already know.” He thought for a while before answering her.

“What if what I want to achieve is not revenge, but justice? For a long time I thought they were one the same. But, revenge is not justice. I can’t achieve justice by hunting down men who have wronged me, I have to hunt down people who do wrong.”

“Oliver, since I joined you, you started saving people. Ordinary people, you already know how to get justice.”

“But it takes something more too.”

“What do you want to do? Stop killing?”

“No, when I go out there it might become kill or be killed. I’ll do what I have to do when it’s needed. But what I’m looking for is something harder to achieve.”

“What is it?”

“I need to cut the ties with my past. I need to stop the League.”

“Why?”

“The other night I was being warned by a former fellow member, they’re coming for me. I’ll get a trial by combat, and if I win, I’ll have no bull’s-eye on my chest. I’ll be free to forget my past, and start a new path.” Felicity looked at him with questioning eyes.

 

_“What the fuck have you been up to, Oliver Queen? I’ve sent you so many letters, I’ve tried to call you and I’ve been worried sick! It’s like you’re not even trying anymore!”_

_“Laurel, I’m in the army. I try to focus on my tasks, not on writing you a silly letter with hearts and ‘I love you!’s. That’s not my job.”_

_“Oh you are so fucking professional, Queen. What, should I just stop writing then? God, Oliver, ever since you joined the army you’ve become so cold and distancing. It’s like you’re starting to lose yourself, Ollie, and by you losing yourself you’re also losing me!”_

_“I’m sorry, Laurel, but when you start to see your life in a real perspective in a place like that, you start to understand the things you have in life that you don’t need or want. You are one of those, Laurel.”_

_“You’re fucking soulless, Oliver. You know what, you’re not worthy of me, or anyone. You don’t deserve to be loved because you have lost yourself. You have lost every nice trait you ever owned and it’s sad to look at you and remember the boy with the warm smile that always had a spark in him. You’ve lost yourself Oliver, and I’m not going to find it for you this time. This time you’re on your own. We’re done.” He looked at Laurel with stone-cold eyes._

_“I think I already established that I broke up with you, or did you miss that? Goodbye Laurel, I hope you do well in life.”_

_“Oh, I hope that place you love so much over there give you everything it has to offer. One day you’re going to fade into nothing, and it seems you’ve already gotten on a right path straight to that.”_

“Maybe I’ll be worthy of you, just a little bit, if I save my soul.” He palmed her cheeks and rested his forehead against hers.

“You are worthy, Oliver, you always have been.”

“No, you deserve a normal guy. Someone who doesn’t have all this blood and guilt on his hands.”

“If I deserve a normal guy, why do I want you so much?” Felicity said and moved her face to kiss him, only she stopped right before touching his lips. Her lips lingering and barely touching his she whispered to him. “I want you, Oliver.”

 

_Sara dragged Oliver out of the living room and into the kitchen. He was still laughing from the drunk Felicity dancing in the living room with a bottle of vodka._

_“Look, Oliver, you’re clearly a bit drunk so I don’t know how much you’ll remember of this. But I have to say it before this thing with you and Felicity turn into something more._

_“Felicity and I are just friends, Sara. I’ve known her almost five months I don’t…”_

_“Look I know how you look at her. When she isn’t watching, your eyes tell me everything. You love her.” She was starting to tear up. Her eyes became glassy as she continued. “And I know it’s true love because I can see it. You only want what’s best for her and you love her in a protective and deep way, but Oliver you can’t be with her.”_

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“Look, you being the Arrow and all…”_

_“You know?”_

_“I’m not stupid, Oliver. Of course I know.”_

_“Oh… right.”_

_“You can’t be able to give her what she wants. She wants a normal life. I’ve been her friend for a while now and she’s told me what she wants in life, and you can’t give her that.”_

_“Sara…”_

_“Think about the danger you put her in by starting something with her. You become lost in her and then you will hurt her when your focus on her gets you hurt or killed.”_

Oliver hesitated, she was waiting for him to make the next move. Almost like she was waiting for him to tell her he wanted her too. But Oliver didn’t know. That night he figured out he loved her, it was only because Sara seen it. She had made him realize what he felt for her, and the risks he would put them both in by acting on his feelings.

“Oh, fuck it.” He finally whispered to himself, and crushed his lips with hers. They stayed like that for a while, just kissing each other with passion and lust, before they moved up to Oliver’s bedroom.

He removed her shirt, and moved them inside his bedroom while kissing. When the door slammed shut he pressed her against it and removed his t-shirt. He stopped right then, remembering his horrifically scarred body. He looked down in a disappointed way. He was about to let go of her when he felt Felicity’s hands on his cheeks.

“Your scars, and your entire body is so beautiful.” She whispered, and started to trace some of the many scars on his torso. He shrugged at the touch.

“I’m so sorry! Does it hurt?” She asked softly.

“I guess so, it feels uncomfortable. Some of them hurt if you press them.”

“Is that why you stopped? Was it because you didn’t want me to see them, or because it feels uncomfortable when they’re touched?”

“I haven’t exactly been with someone since I got most of them. I got close one time, but the scars stopped me.”

“If it’s gonna make you feel uncomfortable…”

“No. No I want to.” He said and kissed her softly.

She hooked her legs around him, and he carried her towards his bed.

“I love you.” He whispered in between soft kisses.

 

>>\--------------->

 

Oliver lay awake as he listened to Felicity’s breathing. He lay there thinking of having to leave her right now. He would have given anything to just stay in bed and fall asleep, but he knew they were coming. All the signs had been there, and he had taken them. Before he talked to Felicity he had found a note with a location. There was also a threat there, saying he would either show up to his ‘execution’ or they would attack the city.

He didn’t want to tell Felicity, and he knew the only way to say goodbye without her asking question was to do what they had just done. It was his goodbye, if anything would happen to him. It was also a way for him to sneak off without her saying anything.

He slipped out of bed quietly, and started to dress himself.

 

>>\--------------->

The cold had not yet entered his body as he climbed the mountainside, taking one step after the other closer to the top. When he finally reached it, there was no one there yet. He took a break and sat down at the ledge, he could barely see the city lights in the night.

He sat there for a while, thinking.

 

_“Dad, why did mom die?” Oliver asked, tears streaming down his face as he sat in their home in his funeral suit._

_“I don’t know why some people have to die at certain times, son. Your mother, she was very sick. Sometimes when people get sick, they don’t get better the next day, or the day after that. Sometimes they are so sick that they don’t get better at all. And often it’s nobody’s fault. We just have to accept that some thing are out of our hands.”_

_“But why do some people get better while mom didn’t?”_

_“I don’t know, son. I can’t answer that.”_

_“Are you going to die too?” Oliver asked, looking at his father while the tears were streaming down his face. He was afraid that his father was going to abandon him and leave him all alone in this world._

_“No, son. I’m not dying. I’m not leaving you right now. But you do have to understand that what is going to happen in the future is uncertain, and we can’t control it. We are all going to die one day, when that happens isn’t always up to us.”_

_“I don’t want to die, dad. I’m scared.”_

_“Don’t be scared, son. We can’t know for sure when we are going to die, and therefore we can’t fear it all the time. It is only when we are faced with death that we are allowed to fear it, okay son?” Robert looked down at his young son._

_“You are not going to live your life fearing death, you are only allowed to fear it when you are staring death in the face, okay?”_

_“Okay, dad.” Oliver sobbed, and Robert hugged his son._

Oliver was starting to realize something. He hadn’t realized how close to death he really was right now. He hadn’t really thought about it that way. All that time he had known he might die, but now he was so close he was starting to realize just what his father had said.

He reached for his phone and called Felicity. It rang for a while before she answered.

_“Hello…?”_

“Felicity? Is that you?”

_“Yeah, it’s me. Oliver, where are you? Why… why did you leave in the middle of the night?”_

“I’m sorry Felicity. I couldn’t tell you. I went off to face the League.

_“You did what?”_

“I had to, they were threatening the city. I couldn’t let them attack it. I’m sorry I left you like that it was the only way I could leave you and say goodbye.”

_“Goodbye? Oliver what are you saying? You’re not going in there thinking you are dying are you?”_

“No, but I might. Felicity, I love you.”

_“Oliver… You should have woken me.”_

“Felicity?”

_“Yeah?”_

“Felicity I’m scared.” He said, his voice shaking. He felt tears coming.

“I don’t want to die.”


	11. Robbers (Part 2)

She had a face straight outta magazine

God only knows but you'll never leave her

Her balaclava is starting to chafe

And when she gets his gun he's begging, "Babe, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay."

 

I'll give you one more time

We'll give you one more fight

Said one more line

Will I know you

 

Now if you never shoot, you'll never know

And if you never eat, you'll never grow

You've got a pretty kind of dirty face

And when she's leaving your home she's begging you, "Stay, stay, stay, stay, stay."

 

I'll give you one more time

We'll give you one more fight

Said one more line

Be a riot, cause I know you

 

Well, now that you've got your gun

It's much harder now the police have come

Now I'll shoot him if it's what you ask

But if you just take off your mask

 _You find out everything's gone wrong_.

 

Now everybody's dead

And they're driving past my old school

He's got his gun, he's got his suit on

She says, "Babe, you look so cool, you look so cool, you look so cool, cool, cool, cool

You look so cool, you look so cool, you look so cool, cool, cool, cool, cool." end of lyrics

_-The 1975_

_2015_

_Oliver Queen_

_In one swift movement he was able to defend himself from Slade’s blade, the metal clung as the two swords met. Sweat was running down his face, despite the height of the mountain making the air cold against his bare chest. He didn’t know if he was going to win the battle. This was Slade, and he had never beaten him. He had been a mentor for Oliver ever since they had found him. Now they were enemies, and fighting a battle for honor._

_Slade quickened his movement and brought his blade towards Oliver’s arm, cutting the flesh of his bicep. Blood was streaming down his arm. It hurt so badly, but Oliver continued and avoided another swing of Slade’s sword. Their fight was going so fast, with both of them becoming tired too soon._

“Felicity, are you still there?” Oliver asked while holding his breath.

_“Yeah, Oliver, I’m still here.”_

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I left you.” Tears were running down his face.

_“Oliver, come down here, we’ll deal with the consequences together. You won’t be alone!”_

“No, there is no turning back now.”

_“Oliver…”_

“I love you, Felicity.”

_“Oliver don’t…”_

“I love you, do you hear me? I love you. Don’t ever forget, okay?”

_“I won’t, how could I?”_

“Felicity, whatever happens… It’s just that there are a lot of things that can happen… You just need to trust me, trust me that I’m being honest with you. We need to be realistic right now, I might die today.”

_“Please, don’t say that!” Her voice was cracking._

“I’m sorry.”

_“Oliver?”_

“Bye, Felicity. I hope I see you again.”

_“Oliver!”_

He turned off his phone with tears streaming down his eyes. The darkness was starting to fade; he could see that there was a while until the morning. So he waited.

 

_Slade attacked, and attacked. He had clearly been training since they last had seen each other._

_They had gotten a distance from each other, both of them were breathing heavily._

_“Give up, kid. I won’t lose to you. You hear me? I won’t lose.”_

_“I’ll never give up, Slade.” Oliver panted._

_With a loud roar, Slade leaped forward and struck his sword towards him. He was able to stop it with his, but Slade was starting to push, pushing him backwards, towards the ledge. It wasn’t the ledge that he had climbed, the one where it was actually possible to climb. No, it was the one that headed straight towards nothing but mist._

_“Slade…” He grunted as he tried to make resistance._

_“Give up!”_

_“No!” He growled._

The sun was slowly starting to set as he got up and looked around. The mountaintop was a bit snowy, not too much, but enough to create a chill around him.

 

Suddenly, he got the feeling he wasn’t alone. He looked around him. There was nothing in plain sight.

But he was correct. In between the trees, he could see a dark shape.

“Long time no see, kid.” The Australian accent meant it could only be Slade.

“Slade.”

“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t have the balls to face me, I am a little disappointed, to be honest. I was quite looking forward to destroying your precious city.”

“You won’t do anything, you said so yourselves!”

“The League keeps their word, unlike some other people.” He was referring to Oliver escaping the League.

“I was never a part of the League. You knew all along, Ra’s knew. He even told me he had suspicions the first time I met him!”

“We thought by time we would be able to create you into a loyal man, I guess we did not succeed.”

“I have a right to a trial by combat, by League laws!”

“You’re right.” Slade reached behind his back, and threw a sword to Oliver.

“It will be a sword fight. Too bad actually, you always had a bigger talent for the bow.” Slade chuckled. “Take off your jacket, by League traditions, both participants are required to equality. That means if one gets cold up here, the other has to have the same chance of getting cold.”

He removed his jacket and sweater, and Slade removed his League outfit.

“Let’s begin.”

 

_“No!” He growled. He had been led to the edge now, and he was struggling to not take another step back and fall._

_Slade’s force was taking all the focus Oliver had, which was a smart move by Slade. With a quick swing, he let go of Oliver, taking him off balance, and swung at his stomach. He sliced a deep cut in Oliver’s side._

_The cut made Oliver drop his sword unwillingly. The way everything happened so fast and the pain struck him with shock, and all he could do was grabbing his side where the wound was now bleeding. Slade continued with a punch to his throat, which made him fall to his knees grasping for air._

_“It’s over, kid.” He said. He put a hand on his shoulder. In a quick movement, he pushed his sword right in the middle under his chest. Oliver felt immense pain, and started to throw up dark red blood._

_Slade started the prayer that Ra’s always said whenever he had been challenged. He spoke in Arabic;_

_“Forgive and have mercy upon him, excuse him and pardon him, make honorable his reception. Protect him from the punishment of the grave, and the torment of the fire.”_

_As the prayer was finished, he used the hand on Oliver’s shoulder to push Oliver over the ledge._

 

_He was falling forever. The ground never came. He could see flashes of his life before him. Flashes from his childhood, and from his time in the army. He could see flashes from the League. He and Tommy training, and their last moment before he left. He could see from this year, every important moment with Felicity, and even the unimportant ones. He saw their last moment together._

_Then he hit the water._

_The dark water surrounded him. Marking his impending death._

_Blood from all his wounds was making the water around him red. As he was being swallowed in the sea, sinking in the deep dark ocean, his final thought was of Felicity before it all went black._

And then he started to throw up water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second part to the last chapter. This isn't nearly the end, though. :)


	12. Wait

There's no end

There is no goodbye

_Disappear_

_With the night_

_-M83_

_2015_

_Oliver Queen_

He was floating. He didn’t know where he was, but then maybe it was all just a dream? Maybe he was at home, still sleeping with Felicity wrapped around him. Maybe he never came home, and that he was under the fear simulation, maybe he was still in the League? Maybe he was never taken in the League? Maybe he was never captured, tortured and starved by the terrorist group? Maybe he was never really in the army? Maybe he was still home, and that he was just at home sleeping after fighting with his dad? Maybe he never decided to go into the army, and instead decided to learn how to run the company? Maybe he would have still lived, and found a person he loved, and married her and maybe he would have some kids.

 

But he knew he wasn’t right, he knew that. He knew that he had to be somewhere bad, somewhere he never wanted to go. And maybe that wasn’t so bad after all? Maybe he was finally free? He didn’t know, all he knew was that he was floating. He was floating somewhere, getting colder and colder.

 

_And then he opened his eyes. His vision started to come together, his vision still blurry, but he was able to make out the place he was at now. He was in the League. He was in his room. Standing there he realized what was happening. He died. He had died, and now he was reliving his past. He was standing there looking at himself walking into his room. Taking off his dark hood and his jacket. He was breathing heavily, his hand going through his longer hair, and taking off his t-shirt so that his chest was freed from clothes. He walked over to the wall placing his both his hands on it, leaning and breathing._

_“Oliver?” Tommy walked into the room._

_“Leave Tommy, I want to be alone right now.” He turned towards his fellow League member. Looking in his eyes, he saw how hurt he was.  
“Please tell me now isn’t the time.” He said, with a hint of sadness and betrayal in his tone._

_“What are you talking about?” He said, but they both knew what he was talking about._

_“You are not leaving, you can’t leave me.”_

_“Tommy…”_

_“No, forget about Ra’s, and Slade, for just a moment and then think about me. Think about yourself too, if you leave you will die.”_

_“I am thinking about myself!”_

_“Oliver…”_

_“No! I am thinking about myself! I was never supposed to join the League! I was supposed to do my duty in the army, come home, live a happy normal life and then I was going to just keep on living! I never asked for this, I never approved. All my time here was preparing me to this day, when I was deciding to leave the League behind me!” He yelled. Tommy was tearing up._

_“So, you were leaving now? You weren’t going to say goodbye?” He looked at Tommy; his own eyes were tearing up. He wasn’t just leaving the League behind; he was leaving his best friend. He opened his mouth to say something, but he hesitated for a moment._

_“I did say goodbye, what I told you before, that was goodbye.”_

_“So after all these years, that’s what I get?” Oliver let out a shaky breath._

_“I’m sorry Tommy… I though it was better to just leave.” Tommy left with Oliver’s last line, shutting the door as he stormed out furiously._

 

Oliver knew why he was seeing this particular memory; it was this action that led him to today. What if he had never escaped? What if he had stayed with the League? Would he still be alive then? Perhaps.

 

_Suddenly he found himself throwing up water, he had been ripped from his dream. He was looking around, but he didn’t recognize this place. He was surrounded by white in every direction and he was sitting on white sand. He could hear waves crashing into a shore somewhere near. It was sort of chilly, but in the same time he felt warm. His wound was not bleeding now, in fact he couldn’t see any of his scars or tattoos, and his beard was gone. His head had been shaven, and he was dressed in only a pair of white pants. What was this place?_

_“Oliver…” He could hear someone calling out his name. It sounded familiar, yet he couldn’t recognize it._

_“Oliver, honey, what are you doing here?” He turned in every direction from where he was sitting, and suddenly he could see a face, not familiar at all, yet he knew instantly who it was when he saw her._

_“Mom?” He whispered._

_“Ollie, you grew up.” The woman said and sat down in front of him. She had blonde hair and her face looked tired, but at the same time she looked refreshed. He couldn’t explain it._

_“Mom, where are we?” He managed to get out._

_“We’re nowhere, honey. It’s not supposed to be somewhere.”_

_“But why are we nowhere?” He looked into her warm eyes with his own worried eyes_

_“Because you died, honey. You’re dead.”_

_“I’m…. I’m dead?”_

_“You died in the water, remember?”_

_“I remember I was bleeding a lot and now I’m not anymore.” He pointed at his chest where the blade had entered._

_“This is your afterlife, honey. You’re going to be relaxed here.”_

_“What about you?”_

_“I’m fine, Oliver. It’s very nice here. Very relaxing.”_

_“Then why do you look so tired?”_

_“This isn’t my afterlife, it’s yours. It’s tiring to visit someone else, but I had to see you, to explain. My beautiful boy.” She said and put a hand on his cheek and cupped it._

_“If only you had lived longer, you could have lived your life.”_

_“I don’t deserve that. I’ve done so many terrible things, taken so many lives.”_

_“But you are so good, you deserve a good life for all that you’ve been through.”_

_“I don’t know if I ever could have had a good life.”_

_“You could have with the woman that you love, you could have married her and you could have started a family with her.”_

_“You’re talking like it could still happen, but I’m dead.”_

_“There are so many things left, Oliver.”_

_Oliver didn’t know what she was talking about, he just looked confused as her eyes started watering and she let go of his cheek._

_“Do just that, Oliver. Be happy, and live an honest life with Felicity.”_

_“Mom?” He said confused._

_“Goodbye, son. Until we meet again.” It started to get harder to hear what she was saying._

_“Mom? Mom can you hear me?” He tried shouting, but everything started to get really white._

_“Mom!”_

 

He opened up his eyes and was blended with green and darkness. He felt rage building up within him. He was in some kind of dark water, and it looked green somehow. He started swimming up towards the surface, but he felt this extreme pain in his back. He fought the pain all he could, and after a while of immense pain and suffering he was able to get to the top. He grasped for air. He wasn’t in the water he last remembered though. He was in some cave. The water was surrounded with a stone ledge. He was able to grab hold of the ledge, but he couldn’t manage to pull himself up. His back was too painful.

“Oliver.” He could hear a familiar voice from somewhere further inside the cave.

“Hello?” He could see someone, a dark figure, walking towards where he was in the water.

“Welcome back, Oliver.” The dark figure said. He was getting closer and closer.

“So this is your first introduction to a Lazarus pit? They make wonders.” The voice was deep, and familiar.

Suddenly the dark figure stepped into the light surrounding the waters where Oliver was floating.

“Dad?”


	13. Fix You

When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

 

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

 

Tears stream down your face

I promise you I will learn from my mistakes

Tears stream down your face

_And I..._

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

_And I will try to fix you_

_-Coldplay_

_2016_

_Felicity Smoak_

Six months. It had been six months since Oliver had left her to fight Slade. He left her, and he had told her he didn’t want to die, and she hated him. She hated him for leaving her, for making her feel so worried. He had told her that he’d try with all that he had to win, to win for her.

So she waited.

And he never came back.

All that she could do was wait, in the beginning. Then a week passed, and her hope slowly started to go down. Then a month, and now the grief had hit her. Then two months, and she tried to get on with her life. And then three, four, five and now six months had passed, and he had still not returned. He was dead. She knew that. She knew he would never come back to her. She knew he would never smile that warm and beautiful smile that always made her heart skip faster. And now, what was left? All she could do was to try to get on with her life, but the burning, irritating and sad feeling of never getting to know what really happened to him was always with her.

She was sitting in her favorite chair at home, _Oliver’s home_ , sipping a cup of tea while going through work on her laptop. Outside the snow was falling, and the whole mansion was so cold, so she’d light the fireplace and sit with a warm blanket in her favorite chair while sipping a warm cup of tea. Then, suddenly she started to think of why it was her favorite chair. It was where she sat when she realized she loved Oliver. Memories of the night when he had told her he loved her, and then left her on the balcony, she had gone into the living room, and sat down in that chair. That was when she’d realized. And not long after that it had become a habit to sit in that chair. It wasn’t really that comfortable. It was a cream-ish colored chair with two wooden armrests. It looked modern, and it felt like that too. But it was her favorite, and she had come to like it.

Thinking about the chair made her sad. Sad because right here she had figured out she loved him, and now she would never going to say it back to him. It was so sad. She had never thought her life would be like this.

That was another thing she hated Oliver for. She hated him for making her love him like that. Making her ache for him, for his smile, for his voice, for his touch… She hated him because she would never see him again. She hated him because she loved him.

A gentle knock on the door snapped her out of her thoughts. She made her way down to the door, only to find it open. She ran to the doorway, looked out to see if anyone was out there, but there weren’t. The thick snow, and the cold air made her freeze and she closed the door. She made her way back to the living room, and she froze when she saw a tall figure standing in the middle of the living room. She put a hand on her mouth so that she wouldn’t scream.

It was a man, a tall man. He was wearing a black cloak and he had a golden sword at his side. His hair was black and his hands were folded behind him in a gentle way. He turned around and locked eyes with Felicity. His eyes were dark, oh so dark. His eyes were tired, and he had big bags under his eyes. He had some Arabic features, but he looked like he could easily have been from America. He didn’t look old, but he looked aged and wise. She feared him but at the same time respected him.

“Do you know who I am, child?”

“No, I don’t believe we have met.”

“No we have not. I am Ra’s Al Ghul, the Demon’s Head. Leader of the League of Assassins.”

“You’re… you’re the man who killed Oliver.”

“No, child. I am not. That was my heir, Slade. His actions killed Oliver, but Oliver’s actions was the leading cause of his death.”

“You’re a psychopath!”

“Perhaps, but I enforce a rule that honors the traditions and rules of the League.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Once, before I became the Demon’s Head, I was an ordinary man. Then, a man came at my door; his name was al SaffaaH, meaning The Murderer. He was a man who enjoyed killing, but wanting to keep his honor above all, he gave men a choice. Either he would stay and al SaffaaH would kill him, or they could join what was then the League of Shadows and he would spare their lives. He gave me that choice, and I was able to make my way to the top, and I renamed it the League of Assassins.”

“And that’s better than the League of Shadows?”

“The word ‘assassin’ can mean different things, I discovered that it meant ‘those who stand apart from society’. In a way, it was true. Men who stand apart from society, protecting the world from becoming it’s worst. We do the things most people are afraid to do, awful things yes, but sometimes you need to do awful things for the sake of others.”

“I don’t believe that.” Felicity stood firm, looking at him with angry and hurt eyes.

“You have a fire inside of you. You know, I see how much you cared for Oliver. I, too, cared for someone as deeply once.”

“Really? How do I get the feeling that is not true?”

“I once had a woman I loved, and we got two children together. But being the leader of the League of Assassins complicated her life. She didn’t know about any of that, in a way I am glad she never did. First we had a son, who was taken from me far too soon, and then a daughter who grew up to be a smart young girl. She had her mother’s face, and she had my hair color and eyes. Seems like she changed it over time.” Felicity stiffened. She couldn’t move. She let out several shaky breaths, as she took in the information he had just given her.

“You remind me so much of your mother.”

“You… You’re?”

“Yes, I am your biological father. I don’t expect you to call me father any time soon. I believe that name is reserved for another man in you and your mother’s life. However, I have to make it clear to you. Had I known about you and your relationship to Oliver, I would have spared his life.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“I’m not going to push you to believe anything. And I’m not able to bring your Oliver back. However, I am able to show you what happened to him, if you’d let me.” Ra’s reached a hand out to Felicity.

“What are you saying?”

“Let me take you to where Oliver was killed, I imagine it is rather unpleasant to walk around not knowing how he died.” A tear fell down Felicity’s cheek. “Let me show you, child.”

She took his hand.

 

>>\--------------->

 

They had been travelling for almost a day now, so she did not understand how Oliver was able to get there so fast. They had flown with a private plane. All the while she was staring out the window while Ra’s looked like he was sleeping. She knew he wasn’t. A man like that wouldn’t sleep in front of someone. And after climbing for hours they finally reached the top.

“Oh my god I am never doing this again!” She panted out as she placed her hands on her knees and breathed in the ice-cold air. They were so high up that she couldn’t see the city in the far off. She could only see mist. She looked over at Ra’s. He was standing like he did not actually climb for over eight hours.

“You did well my child, you are strong.” He started walking towards a point where all the snow where stamped and looked like someone had been there recently.

“This place is one of the best places the League can train. It offers cold air the whole year and it is quiet, and is rarely an attraction to civilians.”

“I can imagine why.” She still panted. “So this is where…?” She started, but she couldn’t finish.

“The blade you see here has been on this spot for six months, it is the blade of Oliver Queen. He fought well, and he fought fair. His last moment was brave, but he could not overpower Slade Wilson, trained swordsman. He is one of the best swordsmen in the world. I am afraid he didn’t really stand much chance from the beginning.” Her eyes had started watering as she walked over to the blade, gently touching the handle with her index finger.

“He was overpowered and pushed to the edge. Then he was taken by surprise and was cut on the side of his stomach.” He gestured to where he had been.

“With the shock of the attack and the pain, he dropped his blade, the one in front of you right now. He was then punched in the throat, and went to the ground, as anyone would have done in his situation. He was then stabbed in the chest, and he was now choking up dark red blood. With having difficulty breathing, pain and still in shock he was helpless.” Ra’s looked at Felicity, who was now sobbing while the tears just wouldn’t stop running. His eyes were sad, and she could now see that what she first had thought of his eyes, that they were brown, were not correct. They were a clear blue color, resembling her own. She wondered how they could still look so dark at times.

“Slade then proceeded to say a prayer for Oliver. It is a custom, so that he may rest. He was then pushed off the cliff, and probably landed in the water down there somewhere.”

Felicity closed her eyes and let out a sigh as the tears were still falling. Oliver, her Oliver, was really dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just have to say that I am not Arabic, so my source of information on the name was Google... :) I just took what I found.


	14. Amsterdam

 

I'm sorry, brother... I'm sorry, I let you down

Well, these days you're fine

No these days you tend to lie

 

You'll take the Western train, just by the side of Amsterdam

Just by your left brain, just by the side of the Tin man

 

Your time will come if you wait for it, if you wait for it

It's hard, believe me... I've tried

But I keep coming up short

 

I'm sorry, lover... I'm sorry; I bring you down

Well, these days I try and these days I tend to lie

 

Kinda thought it was a mystery and then I thought I wasn't meant to be

You set yourself fantastically,

_"Congratulations you are all alone."_

_-Imagine Dragons_

_2016_

_John Diggle_

John Diggle knew many things. He was a wise man. He had served a few years in the army when he was young, but then later figured out it wasn’t what he was supposed to do. So, instead, he went to become a detective. It was a good job for him, and it fit. He had a wife now, and a daughter. He was grateful he wasn’t in the army anymore. Seeing how being there for so long could make a man lose himself, and he didn’t want his wife Lyla to lose him.

 

John Diggle knew he was good at his job. He always solved the cases. Even the ones the most experienced detective, Quentin Lance, couldn’t solve. He was good at his job, but he could not solve the Arrow mystery.

 

John Diggle knew he hated the Arrow and everything he stood for.

 

What John Diggle didn’t know was that in only a few moments he would question what he knew.

 

“Roy… William Harper Jr. You have quite a résumé. Let’s see what you have here: petty theft, breaking and entering, stolen car and now vigilantism. Nice to change things up, right?”

“Look, spare me the time. I’m not the Arrow.”

“Oh, don’t I know it? Just because you’re not the Arrow, doesn’t mean you didn’t break the law.”

“I was trying to save those people.”

“By almost killing two men? Are we a fan of the Arrow, perhaps?”

“Look, he saved me. Okay? He saved me, and in a way, he gave me a second chance, a second chance to live my life. I saw an opportunity to do better, to be better. I’m not going to be ashamed for that. I’m not going to see that as a crime. Those guys, they got what they deserved. How is that any different from you guys beating the shit out of people when it’s needed?”

John Diggle laughed a bit.

“Kid, I’m gonna give you some advice. Don’t go out killing or beating the shit out of people, don’t dedicate your life to that. You don’t understand the pain you have to carry when you take a life. You lose a piece of yourself, and sometimes you can never get it back.”

“Sounds like you know the feeling.”

“I do, I’ve been in war. War does something to you, makes you see someone just as an enemy right there and then. But then you realize, a day, a week, a month later that it wasn’t just an enemy, it was a life. That is something horrible and heavy to carry around.”

“Look, I didn’t want to kill those people. I only wanted to hurt them so that they wouldn’t hurt any more people. I’m not a killer. I just wanted to do something for the city and the people in it.”

“And that’s noble, but you gotta be more careful. It’s dangerous, and you might get yourself killed and get into dangerous stuff.”

“See that’s why I need to find the Arrow. I don’t know where he went, but I think he can teach me something. I don’t really agree with everything he does, nobody should either, but his results are what I’m in this for. If I can become like him, without being so brutal like him, that’s what I’m doing all this for. He does something; he gives people second chances, whether you’re a street thug like me, or an innocent girl.”

“He is a criminal.”

“Do you know how it’s like out there? Crime is big in this city, but ever since he came in the picture it has started to go down. Out there, it’s either kill or be killed sometimes. Sometimes it’s easier to think it’s like that all the time, I think that’s what he does.”

John Diggle stared at the kid. He really believed in this man.

Was he wrong?

Could he understand this man?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an additional chapter, because I want to build in more characters in the main plot. Hope it wasn't boring, and please leave a comment about what you think of this story! :) I appreciate feedback!


	15. Houdini

_Rise above, gonna start the war_

What you want, what you need, what'd you come here for?

Well, an eye for an eye and an 'F' for fight

They're taking me down as the prisoners riot

 

Got shackles on, my words are tied

Fear can make you compromise

Lights turned up, it's hard to hide

Sometimes I wanna disappear

 

When I feel kinda bad and don't want to stress

I just pass it off on ability

Well, you got what you want, and what you never knew

Perfect gift from me to you

 

Got shackles on, my words are tied

Fear can make you compromise

With the lights turned up, it's hard to hide

Sometimes I wanna disappear

 

You never knew what I could find

What would come when we realize

I don't want to compromise

 

Yeah I'm scared but I disappear

Running around before it corners you

_I can't go because my life's a wreck_

 

_-Foster The People_

_2016_

_Oliver Queen_

**Day 1**

_”Dad?”_

 

His father raised an eyebrow, looking at him with strange eyes. He was standing in a strange way, too. Never had he seen him so formal in his way of standing.

“Is that who you see? Interesting these things, what they make you see. The Lazarus pits are extraordinary.”

“What are you talking about dad?” Oliver looked at him with confused eyes. He was talking strange too, like he was a part of the League. His dad stretched out a hand to him, and he took it. He dragged him up from the strange waters. He could feel all the energy surrounding him slowly dripping off him.

“I am not your father. Sometimes these waters can make you see what is not real, but rather what you wish to see.”

Suddenly the man standing in front of him wasn’t his dad, it was a man he had never seen before. He was tall with dark hair. He resembled Ra’s in a way, but his eyes were so light gray and cold. Ra’s eyes were in a way more dark, but this man’s were cold.

“Who are you?” Oliver couldn’t manage to stand up, he was struggling to keep himself up on his arms as he was laying on the cold ground looking up at the man. Something was wrong with his back.

“My name is Damien Darhk. I am brother of the Demon. I was interested when I heard the story of how you died, I had to look for you. When I found you in the deep waters you were dead, floating and rotting on the bottom of the ocean.”

“Slade has already gotten back and told the story? He wouldn’t have time for all that.”

“What are you talking about? Oliver, you died six months ago.” His words hit him right in the chest. Had he been dead for that long?

“I can’t have been dead for that long, how am I still alive?”

“The Lazarus has been known to a few to resurrect the dead to life. In few cases, that is. Most often it only heals the wounded, but now I have seen its effect. It is extraordinary.”

“It didn’t heal all my wounds, I can’t stand. Something is wrong with my back.”

“You must have hit something while you fell. The Lazarus may not always heal all the wounds. It wants you to fight.”

“Fight?”

“Yes, it wants you to fight to stand again, to be able to fight again. To be a part of the League again.”

“I am not coming back to the League!”

“We’ll see.”

Suddenly lots of League members stormed in to the cave and grabbed Oliver.

 

**Day 10**

Where was he?

He didn’t know, maybe in the League.

All he knew was that he was kept in a cell, and for the past ten days he had been in one of the worst pains he ever had endured. His back was so painful, he knew he had broken something in it. They had forced him up with ropes and made him walk around. It had been so painful.

The cell was dark, and he was chained to the floor at all times.

This place was draining his mind.

 

**Day 50**

His back was getting better, but he was starting to loose track of time. He was still in the cell, and the training was going better. He was now able to stand on his feet and walk without the rope, and the pain was getting better. Damien said his spirit was to thank, and that he saw a warrior in him.

This place was still affecting his mind, he could feel himself slipping each day.

Because each day they would take off the bag around his head, and he would train, and they would put it back on again. That was it.

Was he losing it?

 

**Day 100**

Each day now for the past weeks, they would take him out of the cell and into another. It was dark there, then some League members would surround him and blow some strange powder on him. It made him see his father, at first. Each day he would fight with his father like his last conversation with him would end.

Then eventually he would see Ra’s. He would fight him, and he would lose. Only then to be punished and tortured, as he was in the beginning.

Then he would see Slade, and he would end up falling down a cliff and into the water.

With each day he was forgetting something, some things about himself.

 

**Day 160**

Who was he?

_You are Al Sah-Him. The man you were before is dead, forgotten._

He only knew he had one purpose, to serve him. Ra’s al Ghul. His master.

_You are Al Sah-Him, you are the Arrow. The man you were before is dead, forgotten._

He would kill, he would train. He would do anything he commanded. That was his purpose now, had he been living like this all this time, or was he only not aware of his past?

_You are Al Sah-Him._

He was Al Sah-Him.

_You will obey._

He would obey.

He was Al Sah-Him, the Arrow, and it was all that mattered. Yet he couldn't shake the feeling that he was supposed to remember something, that this wasn't who he really were.

 


	16. Thief

 If only you

You could see

The darkest place that you could be

Oh maybe then you'd understand

From desert heat to cobbled streets

From broken home to the city beat

There's so much more than you could know

 

So take me back

When I believed

Back when I was unafraid

Just like a thief

And all the heights

That I could reach

Back when I was unafraid

_Just like a thief_

 

When the stars look down on me

What do they see?

 

_-Imagine Dragons_

 

_2016_

_Ra’s Al Ghul_

The air in the temple where he usually spent his time was cold. No doubt, it used to be warm here. But the air in the night was always cold, even in a warm place like this. He could spot the tense mood in here. The soldiers were a little bit more alert than what they’d usually be. He had been notified that there had been several changes this past half year ever since he’d travelled. He was prepared to find some change in training rituals, but there was none.

“I am getting rapidly more impatient with these news, when will I be told?” He spoke in fury; he was not pleased with having to wait such a long time after six months of travelling.

“Mr. Damien Darhk will be joining you soon, my lord.” Maseo, his faithful servant, spoke.

If it were Damien then he’d assume it was something he’d done. He always did whatever he wished, never obeying orders. But he was his brother, he would not punish him for such small crimes.

“Mr. Damien Darhk, brother of the Demon.” One of the soldiers called out, and the doors opened. Damien stepped inside, looking at him with a smug face. Behind him there was three men dressed in League outfits. Two of them seemed to be guarding the one in the middle.

“Damien, how long has it been?”

“A year, although, for us that’s nothing.” They both laughed as Ra’s rose from his throne and stepped down to greet his brother.

“Brother, it is both good and concerning to meet you.” Ra’s said with a questioning look.

“For the past six months as you have been gone, I have been busy with my own project, as well as being in charge here, of course. I believe this will please you greatly.” Damien said and stepped to the side, ordering the two masked assassins to step away from the one in the middle. He was masked, too. He had been staring at the ground this whole time, never giving Ra’s a chance to look him in the eyes. Suddenly, he looked up at him. He was met with cold, blue eyes. Eyes he could not recognize, they bore no emotion or identity. He had never seen such light blue eyes.

“Who is this?” Ra’s questioned.

“This has been my project while you were gone, brother. You have always struggled with loyalty, well, I have enforced a new method which will ensure loyalty towards you! I present to you, the most loyal servant you will get,” With those last words he clapped his hands twice and the assassin pulled off his hood and mask. “Al Sah-Him.” Oliver Queen stood before him, with an emotionless face.

“Present yourself to the Demon’s head, Al Sah-Him.”

“I am Al Sah-Him, the Arrow. I am your servant. I have no memories, no ties to my old life, my life is yours.” He pulled out his sword, and as an instinct Ra’s was about to do the same, but stopped when he realized he had knelt with the sword held before him to the ground, a gesture of good faith and allegiance.

“My sword is yours.”

Damien looked amused. “Who are you?” He said quickly.

“I am Al Sah-Him!” He yelled immediately.

“What have you done to Mr. Queen?”

Al Sah-Him looked confused, he started saying “Who is Mr…”, but was interrupted by Damien.

“I have brainwashed him, made him the perfect soldier.”

“Oliver Queen died a year ago. You were not supposed to bring him back, and you were not supposed to brainwash him!” Ra’s tone was starting to rise.

“I did what I thought was best. Oliver Queen had everything. He had strength, a head for leadership, a great mind. He had everything except loyalty, and now he has. The Lazarus made him lose his mind just enough so that I could temper with it. I have made him into the perfect soldier!”

“YOU WERE NEVER TOLD SO!” Ra’s yelled so loud that the whole room when as quiet as it could be. No sound could be heard except for the flames lighting the room up.

“I have had just about enough of your decisions, brother. You never obey, and now what? You made the lover of my daughter into a soulless creature. If you had run this decision past me as you are supposed to you would have known why I refused to bring him back. You would have known that I never wanted him to lose his mind!”

“I am sorry brother, I thought it would have pleased you…”

“It did not!”

There were several minutes of silence as Ra’s turned around placing his hands behind him. Thinking.

“Oliver Queen, or Al Sah-Him, will return to Starling City. He will fight to regain his lost mind so that he may reunite with my daughter. Then, as he will marry her and put a child in her, he will have the birth right to my throne and he will again pass it on to his child after him. Oliver Queen will get the throne. The one I was planning on passing on to you, brother.”

Damien looked surprised, confused and furious.

“I do not understand.” He said.

“Do you really think I could pass on the throne to someone who never obeys? To someone who doesn’t value orders? No, I will pass it on to the blood I share, not the blood I chose.”

“But he betrayed you!”

“No he acted on his own mind! One you have taken from him! I need a leader who will stand on his own.”

With that Ra’s ordered everyone to leave, everyone except Oliver. When everyone had left, Oliver looked at him with his cold eyes.

“My boy, I need you to remember your old life. I cannot use you like this.”

“I am your servant.”

“Then serve me with this. You are Oliver Queen. You loved my daughter, a woman named Felicity Smoak. You need to remember.”

“I do not understand?”

Ra’s thought for a while, a long while.

“Come with me, boy.”


	17. It Comes Back To You

4am beside myself

And what I think of mental health

All the things that worry me

All the things you don’t believe

I’ve been told just what to do

Where to look and point my view

All the things that I could be

I think I learned in therapy

Am I just a shadow you drew?

 

It comes back to you, it comes back to you

All the things that you had lost will find their way to you

It comes back to you, it comes back to you

Looking back into the past and I can see it through

_It comes to back you_

_-Imagine Dragons_

_2016_

_Felicity Smoak_

“Mr. Palmer has requested you in his office, Ms. Smoak.” Felicity looked up from her computer in her office and was met with his assistant.

“Sure, let me just finish up some stuff here…” She said writing down information on a note.

“Now, Felicity. It’s urgent. I think you want to meet with Mr. Palmer.” Felicity looked up again, this time confused. She walked over to the elevator and pressed the button to where Ray Palmer had his office. She waited as the elevator went up, and she wondered why Ray Palmer had requested to see her. She hadn’t even met him since he had taken over QC for Oliver while he was “missing”. He used to be the one leading QC before Oliver came back and claimed the position. He was Oliver’s VP. When she reached the top floor she walked over to the desk.

“Mr. Palmer requested to see me?” She asked Adam, who was currently on the phone. He looked up at her and gestured with his head for her to go in. She walked beside where she first sat when she had waited for her interview one and a half year ago. She sighed heavily as she opened the glass door and walked inside his office.

“Ah Ms… Smoak. It’s really nice to meet you, finally.” Ray Palmer smiled a warm smile at her and held out his hand. His smile was so nice and genuine, one she would have fallen for immediately if it hadn’t been for Oliver. Well, she said to herself, he has been gone for over a year now and it’s not like they were together that long…

“Is everything alright?” He said, dragging out the ‘is’, while he shook her hand.

“Yeah I           ‘m fine, it’s just I haven’t been in this office since Oli… Mr. Queen went missing.”

“Ah, yes. That’s what I wanna talk to you about. If you’d sit down please.” He gestured her to sit down as he buttoned his suit jacket and sat down in his chair. She did as he told her, and then waited for him to tell her what he’d wanted to say.

“I was informed that you were close with Mr. Queen?”

“Yes, well, we were just good friends.” She said, not wanting to reveal her brief romantic relationship with him. It wouldn’t get her on a good reputation in the workplace.

“Oh, well excellent.” He said, which made her frown. He noticed it immediately and panicked a little.

“I didn’t mean excellent as in that way, I mean it’s obviously tragic that he’s missing.” He took a break loosening his tie. “What I meant was that you weren’t romantically involved. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, not that I would know anything about being romantically involved with… Oh you know what I’m just gonna stop talking now.” He coughed nervously as Felicity stared shocked at him with her mouth open. She had never met anyone with similar over-talking problems like she had.

“I’m sorry, but what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?” She said laughing a bit.

“I was going to say I am giving you a raise, since you have been working so hard these past few months. It has been greatly rewarding for the company. You are one of the greatest assets we have.”

“Oh wow, I mean, thank you so much.”

“I guess what I realized I now wanted to ask you wasn’t about your work.”

“I’m sorry?” Felicity looked confused.

“I’ve heard so many great things about you, and, well, I guess I just wanted to meet you for myself and I’m just a little nervous… I wanted to ask you if you’d like to go out to dinner with me?”

“You… you want to… with me?”  
“I know I’m terrible at this. Which I just found out right now. But, yes, with you. If you want to, of course?”

“Yes, yes I would like that.” He let out a breath, indicating that he’d been holding it.

“Oh great. Great! How’s tonight?” She was stunned by what was just happening. Her mouth was still slightly hanging open.

“Tonight’s… good.” She said.

“Great! How about we meet here, at say… seven?”

“Uh, yes seven’s good.”

He smiled that charming smile again, which made her smile. He really had a great smile. They just stared in awkward silence for a while before he spoke.

“Well that’s all I wanted to ask you, so if you want to get back to work…”  
“Yes! I’ll get back at work.” She stood up and walked over to the door.

“See you tonight!” He shouted after her.

She couldn’t help but smile as she returned to her office. Yet, a part of her felt like this was wrong, in a way. But she figured she was still young, and she needed to find someone and not grieve the rest of her life.

 

>>\--------------->

 

“So tell me about your life.” Ray said as he took a bite of his dinner. He had someone make this fancy dinner at QC, and they sat at the conference table. It was very romantic, they could see the entire city and it’s lights from this room, as the entire wall was of glass. It all was very fancy. She didn’t really have a taste for this expensive food, her and Oliver would always just order in from Big Belly Burger.

“It’s nothing special. I mean the only interesting thing that has happened was when the vigilante…” She stopped as soon as she realized what she was going to say. She then took a bite of her expensive dinner.

“What?” He said, clearly she had gotten his attention.

“He rescued me.” She said with food in her mouth, proud of herself for her rescue.

“Oh, well then it’s one good thing he’s done.” Ray said bitterly as he ate his salmon.

“Excuse me?” She said as she swallowed her chicken.

“Well, I mean he’s a killer and a law-breaker. He should be in prison. It’s good that he’s been gone the past year.” Felicity was shocked by his answer.

“What?” He asked as he saw her face.

“He rescued me, I always saw him as a guardian angel.” Ray looked confused.

“Felicity he’s a murderer.”

“You have no idea what he’s been through!” She raised her tone, and Ray shot his eyes at her in concern.

“And you do?” He asked, calmly.

“No, I just… I don’t think we should judge him.” She said.

“I’m sorry, maybe we should talk about something else. I don’t mean to cause a fight.” He laughed forcefully.

“Yeah…” She said.

 

>>\--------------->

 

_3 weeks later_

Ray had taken her to three more dates after that first one. They had really hit it, and they were really starting to know one another. He had asked her on a fifth date tonight at her place where she would be cooking, which she’d usually experienced was the date where they would have sex... but that date had been the one before this one. She had gone over to his place to watch a movie when things had… escalated. She didn’t know if she had regretted it after or not. She became nervous as she prepared the dinner. She was making her mom’s special lasagna, which always impressed houseguests when she was little.

It was about half an hour until he was supposed to come and she was setting the table when she heard a gentle knock. That was odd, she thought. He wasn’t supposed to come for an hour. She walked over to the door in her apartment (she had to move out of the mansion, she couldn’t exactly afford it). When she opened up and saw who was standing outside she opened her mouth. It was Oliver.

“Oliver!” She started to cry as she threw herself in his arms.

“You’re not dead?” She sobbed as she buried her face in his neck.

“Not anymore.” He laughed.

“What do you mean?” She sobbed, as she smelled his warm skin.

“It’s a long story, may I come in and explain?” He said as she could feel he was smelling her hair. They hadn’t seen each other for over a year now. She was crying happy tears as she hugged him harder before she let go. He walked inside and she shut the door.

“Nice place you got here.” He said as he walked into the living room where she’d set the dining table.

“Were you expecting guests?”

“Yes, well I’m…” She was interrupted by the doorbell. Oh fuck, she thought. She opened the door as Oliver continued looking at her living room.

“Hi! Sorry I’m so early, but my meeting was cut short and I thought, oh well, she won’t mind help cooking the food.” He said as he walked in, seeing Oliver standing in the living room.

“Well, I guess you don’t need my help after all.” He said awkwardly. “Mr. Queen! You’re back?” Ray said as he shook Oliver’s hand.

“Mr. Palmer.” He greeted. “Yes, I was just at the police station confirming I’m back, and since I didn’t really have anywhere else to go…” He said, looking confused as to why Ray was there.

“I’m sorry Ray, I didn’t know he was back…” She started.

“Oh no, don’t be silly. You should stay and eat, if Felicity has enough food?” He said awkwardly.

“Yeah, sure…” She said. Oh boy, she thought.

 

They were eating the lasagna, as the table was really quiet.

“So, what happened to you?” Ray asked, breaking the silence. Oliver stopped eating and watched at Ray over the table.

“I was travelling, and I was in an accident.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’m okay. I was listed as a John Doe, and when I woke up a whole year had gone by.”

“I see. Must be good to be back.”

“It is.” He said and continued eating. It went silent again.

“So you two…?” Oliver asked, breaking the tedious silence.

“Yeah.” Ray answered immediately. She could sense the tension building up.

“Oh, nice to see Felicity has moved on.” Oliver said, she could see his grip on the knife tightened.

“Wait you two were together?” Ray asked confused.

“Well, not really…” Felicity began.

“No, we were briefly, before my accident.” Oliver said. Ray continued eating his lasagna before he spoke again.

“Well, me and Felicity have been dating for a while now, we’ve even had sex.” He said laughing a bit. Felicity was shocked when she heard what he had said.

She watched Oliver’s reaction, and she was surprised. He didn’t even flinch as he was chewing. He just swallowed, looked up and wiped his mouth on his napkin.

Suddenly, so fast she barely registered what happened, Oliver stood up with his knife still in his hand and stormed towards Ray with a furious look on his face. He grabbed him by his throat and shoved him up against the living room wall like he was nothing, knife against his throat.

“Oliver!” Felicity shouted as she realized what was happening. He looked back at her, she was staring at him in shock. His face softened as he looked at her, but he wasn’t paying attention to Ray. He punched Oliver in the face and he fell to the floor. Felicity sprang up and put a hand on Oliver’s chest, who was laying on the floor with his hand on his bleeding face. Her hand kept him from getting up and attacking Ray.

“What the fuck?” Ray said furiously. She had never seen him like this.

“Ray, maybe you should just go outside for a moment.”

“Me? He’s the one who attacked me! Why aren’t you telling him to fuck off?” He barked at her.

“He’s been through a lot, just go outside. I’ll come out in a sec.” She said, she was starting to get stressed. She watched him storm outside.

“I’m sorry.” Oliver said as he watched her with sad eyes. “I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me. I guess I’m still not over you.” He said panting.

“It’s okay, I just need to talk to Ray for a bit, okay? I’ll be back to take care of your face.” She said, stroking his not-bleeding cheek. She went out to face Ray.

“I’m so sorry Ray, I had no idea he was going to do that!” She said, while rain was falling like crazy around them.

“You didn’t defend me.”

“What you said, you shouldn’t have said that.”

“I’m sorry, I just felt so threatened about him.” Felicity didn’t know how to respond.

“You love him, don’t you? It’s why you were so sad about coming into my office that day, wasn’t it?” He said in a sad tone. She didn’t protest.

“I knew it. Well, it’s been nice getting to know you.” He said as he started walking away.

“What do you mean?” She shouted after him.

“I don’t think we should continue seeing each other, I don’t want to date someone who’s in love with someone else. Not again.” She watched as he walked away. After a while she went in to Oliver, who was sitting in her couch with his hand still on his bloody face.

“Let me take care of that face.” She said and went into her bathroom to get her first-aid kit.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter in one day! I had some free time today and I was just in the writing mood :)


	18. Summer

If only for a second

Let me have you

Tell me all your secrets

Let me know you

 

Paint me all your pictures

Hang them on my wall

Show me all your colors

Show me all

 

Open up your eyes

_Open up your mind_

Fall in love with what you mean to me

 

_-Imagine Dragons_

_2016_

_Oliver Queen_

“Ouch.” Oliver said as Felicity was cleaning the cut on his face. Palmer must have had a ring on his finger or something, because he really had cut him good.  
“Sorry.” She said softly as she continued cleaning it.

“Don’t worry, I’ve been through far worse.” He said smiling a bit while he looked at her face as she cleaned.

“I didn’t get a chance to explain.” He said after a while.

“Oh really, so you didn’t go into a coma for a year?”

“Not exactly, but something similar.” He said it and she stopped cleaning and looked at him with a confused look.

“What do you mean?” She said as she continued.

“I did die, for six months I was dead, at least I must have been.” She finished cleaning his wound and started packing her first-aid kit.

“So, what about the next six months then?” She was clearly not in a good mood.

“I was brought back by this water… The man who brought me there called it a Lazarus pit. It has some healing powers, but it also messes with your head.” He said, and took a break from talking for a while.

“I was brainwashed, for a long time.” She turned around to look at him with a concerned look.

“I’m fine now.” She didn’t look convinced as he said it.

“Are you sure?” She said, and sat down beside him in her couch.

“Yes, Ra’s… I’m not sure why, but he helped me get back. He told me so that I could get back to you.” She froze when he said that.

“What? He did?”

“Yeah, has he visited you?” He said, looking at her with worried eyes.

“Yes, after a few months he came and offered me an explanation, and he took me to where you were killed. He was very generous.” It went quiet as Oliver processed what she had just said.

“You’re his daughter.” He said quietly.

“No, I mean yes by blood, but no.” She said, looking at him, but he wouldn’t look at her.

“That’s why he helped me. He wanted me to get back to you, to make his daughter happy.” He said, and forced a laugh.

“Are you going to?” She said after a while.

“Going to what?” He looked at her, and she looked at him. Their faces were really close and he looked her deeply in her eyes.

“Make me happy?” She said, and raised her eyebrows.

“I wouldn’t know how.” He whispered.

“Yes you do.” She whispered back, and he closed the distance between them and kissed her. They stayed like that for a while before he moved her down on the couch and he laid himself on top of her.

“I’ve missed you so much.” She whispered in between kisses.

“I’ve missed you too.” He whispered back. They were finally reunited, and they continued where they had last left off. Clothes coming off and laughter and tears filling the room, and he told her over and over that he loved her.

 

“This is why I’m still pissed at you for leaving.” Felicity panted, as she was lying sweaty in her bed, feet tangled in an equally sweaty Oliver. The bed sheets were covering their naked bodies.

“What?” He said as he propped himself up on his arm, looking down at her.

“This. The sex. If you hadn’t left we could have had _so much_ sex!” She said as she lifted her arms in the air.

“There’s still plenty of time.” He said with a smirk on his face.

“Easy there tiger, we just finished round three.” She laughed.

“I’m up for another round.” He said softly and kissed her mouth softly a few times.

“I think we both could use a break.” She said and moved a hand up to his face, stroking his scruff.

“Tell me about it. The dying part.” She said and watched, as his face grew terrified.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He whispered.

“You should, Oliver. I want to know.”

“It was like… it hurt and then it didn’t. I fell into the water, but I don’t remember it. Now every time I see the sea, I get terrified. Drowning in that dark water, with my blood floating all around me. It was terrible. And then it all went black.”

“Did you have that ‘life flashes before your eyes’ thing?”

“Yeah.”

“What did you see?” She asked softly.

“Some important memories that changed me, but mostly you.” He said and kissed her.

“Wow, you really want to move to round four!” She laughed as he rolled himself on top of her.

“I’m not finished with you yet, Smoak.” He said in a low voice, and Felicity laughed. He kissed her for a while, until she broke the kiss.

“We should probably talk about us.” She said, as he kissed her neck.

“What do you mean, with your apartment? I agree, we should move back to my house.” He said and continued kissing her neck.

“What? I don’t want to live in that mansion, I just moved here a few months ago!”

“Then we should get a new apartment together.” He suggested.

“What? You want me to move in with you?” She looked at him with a confused look.

“Why not?”

“It’s a little fast.”

“I don’t care.” He said in a low voice as he kissed her neck again.

“Oliver!” She laughed. “We can’t just move together this fast.”

“Fine, you’ll have your own room. We’ll be… roomies. Although, I can’t think of any reasons to why you shouldn’t be in my bed.”

She laughed as he kissed her chest.

“That’s basically the same thing!”

“I just can’t imagine not living with you again.” He whispered as he moved down her body. “Move in with me Smoak.” He said and kissed her stomach. She moaned at the touch. “Do you accept?” He said. She couldn’t wait any longer for him to continue.

“Yes.” She breathed out.


	19. Evil Eye

What’s the color of the next car?

(Red you bastard) Yeah red you bastard

Don’t believe in god don’t believe in that shit

Not me!

I’d like to bring them down

Not me!

Some fool who dumb dumb do,

Not, Not, Not me!

 

Oh some people get freak at me

Some people can’t see that I can oh! (See)

_Some people wanna see what I see_

_Some people put an evil eye on me_

 

I have the evil eye; I see your soul,

Your wear it on your face, it’s what evokes you to

 

_-Franz Ferdinand_

_2016_

_John Diggle_

**‘The Arrow is back in Starling City – kills Adam Hunt!”**

That was the headline John was met with when he picked up the Starling Post when he woke up. He felt the rage build as he read the article, he had been understanding the Arrow more and more while he was gone, but then his first move was this. As he drank his coffee and kissed Lyla and Sara goodbye, he thought about the Arrow, and he thought about him while driving to the police station.

He wanted to hate him, and God knows he had been, but now that he had been rethinking and getting a whole new perspective of things he couldn’t. He couldn’t hate this man. The man, who risked his life everyday to stop the crime in this city, he couldn’t hate him. Of course, he didn’t agree with his methods. Killing like that, it was wrong, but his intentions and his results were good.

He just wished he could talk to this man. He just wished he could have known who he was, so that he could know his story. He often wondered about him, who he was, why he had ended up with this life. Why would he sacrifice so much to be this man?

He had just returned after a year, which Oliver Queen had just done too. Sure, he’d shown evidence that he’d been in a coma in Coast City Memorial, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be the Arrow. Was Oliver Queen responsible for all this?

He told the chief he was going out for a quick errand and got in his car. He started driving to where he thought Oliver would be: Felicity Smoak’s house.

When he got there he rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer. He was again, for the second time met with Oliver Queen half naked, or he hoped that was all he was.

“Detective?” His hair was all messed up, and he was sweaty. He realized he’d probably got here on the wrong time. He could see he was hiding his lower body behind the door. Subtle Mr. Queen, he thought.

“I’m sorry is this a bad time?” He almost chuckled.

“No, we just… I’m… Do you mind waiting a bit or coming back in half an hour?” He panted.

“Yeah, no problem.”

“What’s this about? Is it my return?”

“No, I just have some questions for an investigation. I’ll come back later.”

“Oliver! Get back here!” He could hear Felicity Smoak shouting. This was awkward.

“Bye.” He chuckled. He went to a coffee shop nearby and sat down. As he drank coffee he thought about Oliver Queen. The man who had found Felicity Smoak, despite who he was and what he’d been through. A man like that, he couldn’t be the monster he had thought at first. What if he’d been at this all wrong? What if this was just a man wanting to help his city? A man like that could not be evil.

Half an hour later he walked over to the house once again, with his mind now changed he didn’t know how to go about this. He rang the doorbell, he wanted to at least talk to this man.

Oliver Queen opened this time fully clothed and showered.

“I see you’re decent now?” John chuckled, and Oliver smiled a bit awkwardly.

“Yes, I’m really sorry about all that. Hope I didn’t mess up your time or something?”

“No, it’s fine. Can I come in?” John said and waved his hand in a gesture.

“Yeah sure, come on in.” He walked into Felicity’s house. It was a small house, and it was cozy. With a style he thought fit Felicity perfectly. He sat down in the couch when he got to the living room. It was a big room, with a dining table in the middle of the room and two sofas in the other end. Felicity came into the room, asking him if he wanted some coffee. He had already had a cup, but he figured he could use another one.

“So, what is this about detective?” Oliver said and sat down.

“It would be in your best interest if Ms. Smoak was not present in the room.” John said in a serious tone. He could immediately see the smile on Oliver’s face fade, and he was met with a cold expression.

“It doesn’t matter, detective.” He shot back, looking into John’s eyes.

“I know, Oliver. I know you’re the Arrow.” He finally said. Oliver clenched his jaw.

“What are you going to do, John? Arrest me? With what evidence may I ask?” He could hear the aggression in Oliver’s tone.

“Honestly, I’m not sure. I don’t have any evidence to arrest you, Oliver. I didn’t need that to understand who you were, though. I managed to put two and two together.”

“What do you want to achieve with this conversation?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure. I had every intention to be mad at you, but I can’t hate you.”

“What do you mean? What do you want, John?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“I know.” He shot back immediately, looking into John’s eyes once more. “You want justice. You want what’s fair, but you also want to uphold the law. You’re conflicted, John. You want what’s good but you want the bad so much. A man of the law like yourself must be really conflicted with yourself. With your conscience.” John looked at him with a shocked look. He was right. How could he figure this out, while he couldn’t?

“You want to join me?” Oliver said, raising an eyebrow.

John looked surprised. Suddenly Felicity came in carrying three cups of coffee.

“So, who wants coffee?” She said, looking at the two men who were now staring at each other.

“What’s happening?” She said awkwardly. Oh god, John thought. You have no idea.

 

 


	20. Wake Me Up When September Ends

Summer has come and passed

The innocent can never last

Wake me up when September ends

 

Like my father's come to pass

**_Seven years has gone so fast_ **

Wake me up when September ends

 

Here comes the rain again

Falling from the stars

Drenched in my pain again

Becoming who we are

 

_As my memory rests_

_But never forgets what I lost_

Wake me up when September ends

 

- _Green Day_

_2027_

_Oliver Queen_

“So John Diggle, he joined you?” The therapist wrote something down on a notepad. He had told her to do that. If he was to tell her his story, she better be getting it all down.

“More or less, yes. He was a bit reluctant to my methods and my missions at first, but it didn’t take long before he understood and agreed. It wasn’t easy, though.” Oliver started to rub his fingers together when she had mentioned John Diggle. It was one of the things that made him guilty.

“This, all this, it just doesn’t really make much sense to me, Oliver. You said you were resurrected in the Lazarus Pit, and that they said to you that people go crazy after it. You were brainwashed too. And after all that you were just… fine?” She stared at him with a confused look. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to respond.

“Believe me, where we are in the story, crazy is just around the corner.”

“I don’t understand?”

 “I never recovered from the fall, from the water. I never got the crazy away. I was sent to an asylum for the criminally insane, and I didn’t get better. I’m here, in a mental hospital and I’m not really better. Well, maybe I’m _better_ than what I was right after everything that happened seven years ago, but I didn’t get the crazy away. The crazy is always with me, the water is always with me and the blade in my chest won’t come out.”

“How did it make you feel? What was it like, being insane?”

Oliver stared down at his hands, his fingers still rubbing together. They were out of his control, he never controlled his fingers when this happened. It had become like this. It was a constant reminder that he was not fully in charge of himself.

_Because the Arrow controlled the other part._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A brief but significant chapter. Leading up to a time jump in next chapter! Hope you still enjoy the story :)


	21. Where Is My Mind?

Stop!  
  


With your feet on the air and your head on the ground

Try this trick and spin it, yeah

_Your head will collapse_

But there's nothing in it

And you'll ask yourself

 

Where is my mind?

Where is my mind?

_Where is my mind?_

 

_Way out in the water_

See it swimmin'

 

- _Pixies_

 

_2017_

_Oliver Queen_

_Did you do everything you wanted to do? Did you say everything you wanted to say before the end?_

_Can you feel the insanity, creeping behind you?_

_Can you get out of the water, while the blade is still deep in your chest?_

_My mind is not mine anymore. Not completely._

_My body won’t rest, and my mind won’t let me. It keeps reminding me of the water._

_Which water, the death or the resurrection?_

_I don’t know. Should I know?_

_How many days has it been?_

_Has it been years?_

_Who knows? It’s all just the same. Every day is the same, and every night is the same: the water is always there, haunting me. Telling me death is on my shoulders. But which water belongs to me, and which belongs to the Arrow? Do I get death, and he resurrection?_

_The Arrow, he is not me. He is someone else entirely. I have realized that now. Because days lost has not been returned to me yet. All those murders that put me in here, they were not done by me, but my hands are still covered in blood?_

_I stare into nothing but white, and sometimes when I turn my head I see the Arrow staring back at me. Only he is on the other side of the bars. He is free. Free to kill. Free to do all those things that soak my hands with blood. When will he disappear? How can he still kill, still be out there when I am locked in here?_

_Insanity, it’s strange. I should have known it was coming. I should have warned Felicity. She didn’t deserve this. I wonder, what is she thinking now?_

_We have known each other two and a half years now, and yet I did nothing to warn her of this nightmare. Is she waiting for me? I hope not. But what is she is?_

_How do I stop him from killing?_

_How do I escape from the horrors of my mind?_

_Am I this monster?_

_How did I become like this?_

It has been half a year when he feels it coming. They had warned him in the League that the Lazarus had effects on men. He had thought it was over, that overcoming the brainwashing meant it was over. He could not have been more wrong. With each time he goes out on a mission, he gets more and more brutal. With more and more killings, and more and more losses of time. He would wake up, in bed with Felicity, naked. Not remembering how he had gotten here and when he had made love to her.

But it’s not until it’s gone a year since John Diggle joined him that he starts to go completely nuts. That’s when John comes in and makes the hard choice. He arrests him, and shares his identity with the world.

The headlines said:

**“Oliver Queen is the Arrow – gets sent to the Starling asylum for the mentally insane!”**

Because he admitted it, everything they said. He also warned them of his insanity, and luckily they listened.

 

_(The Arrow)_

 

_He drove the blade through the last man’s chest. It was a civilian. But he was a part of the army. He was a part of the men that left him when he needed help. He deserved to die._

_“Oliver!” John shouted. He held up his gun and pointed it at him. Fool, he thought._

_“Get lost!” He shouted over to him._

_“Drop the sword! You’ve gone mad! Killing innocent people like this, what happened to you man?” He still held his gun towards him._

_“I’m the Arrow. This is what I do.”_

_“No, it’s not. You used to help people, you used to be something good! Now, look at you. Going out killing people, and treating Felicity like crap at times! What happened to you?”_

_Oliver was about to raise his blade when John shot him. He fell to the ground. Next thing he sees when he wakes up is Oliver Queen sitting with a straightjacket locked in a cell._

_(Oliver Queen)_

“Oliver?” A soft shaky voice echoed in his cell, and he looked up to find Felicity’s hurt eyes.

“You shouldn’t be here. You shouldn’t see me like this.” He said. His eyes were tired, with heavy bags under them. He hadn’t shaved in weeks, and he started to get a beard. He was wearing a white straightjacket. They feared he’d take his own life, he had warned them he had gotten those thoughts earlier. They had listened to him again.

“I needed to see you, it’s been weeks.” Her voice was still shaky, and make no mistake, he knew she tried to hide it but he could hear her voice was about to crack.

“I’m so sorry, Felicity.” A tear fell down his cheek, and his head fell down in shame.

“I didn’t know what was happening to me, I wasn’t in control. I don’t remember killing those people, or hurting you…” He said as tears kept falling.

“Oliver, it’s okay.” She cried. “You didn’t hurt me.” Her words was the best ones he had heard in a long time, knowing he hadn’t hurt her while not being himself was a relief.

“I’m sorry it ended like this, it wasn’t the way we were supposed to end. I’m so sorry I broke us.”

Felicity held a sob as the tears fell down her face.

Their story wasn’t supposed to be like this.


	22. Dream

 

In the dark

And I’m right on the middle mark

I’m just in the tier of everything that rides below the surface

And I watch from a distance seventeen

And I’m short of the others dreams of being golden and on top

It’s not what you painted in my head

There’s so much there instead of all the colors that I saw

 

We all are living in a dream,

But life ain’t what it seems

Oh everything’s a mess

_And all these sorrows I have seen_

_They lead me to believe_

_That everything’s a mess_

 

But I wanna dream

I wanna dream

Leave me to dream

 

_-Imagine Dragons_

_2017_

_Oliver Queen_

Days gone by, months. Keeping him in this place, it didn’t work. He knew that. Maybe he was getting better, in his head that was. Every night he dreamt of the water, and every night he would wake up. He couldn’t sleep, he knew that it was because he wasn’t near Felicity. He hadn’t seen her in weeks now. Seeing her that one time, it did work a lot. Just seeing her was enough for him to be convinced he could survive himself.

A voice echoed in his cell, and he turned around to see where the voice came from.

_I’m here._

He looked right in front of him. There was a chair there and on it sat a dark figure. It was the Arrow. He was wearing the League costume and he was sitting with his forehead leaning on his knuckles. What was happening?

“What do you want? Why are you here!” Oliver shouted.

_Oh, Oliver. Don’t you see? I’m you. I’m the dark side, I’m the justice. I want revenge, and I’m the part of you that dares to get it. All the people who wronged you, I’m here to take them all down._

He was staring at someone who looked a lot like him, but he sounded so dark. He wasn’t Oliver.

“So you kill everyone?” He whimpered.

 _YES! I kill them all! They deserve to die. They deserve to get their chests filled with a sword and they deserve to be dumped in the sea. All of them!_ The Arrow shouted, the sound echoing in the cell.

“How can you be real? How is this possible?”

_Because you see, I live in you, Oliver. Every night when you think you’re dreaming I’m out there, I take control. I escape from this shithole and every night I come back. That’s when you wake up._

Oliver lowered his head and grunted in pain.

_Oliver you can’t stop me I’ll kill everyone. I’ll even kill your precious…_

“NO!” He shouted. He continued shouting it out over and over again.

“Oliver?” A voice suddenly said after a while. Oliver turned quiet. Ra’s al Ghul was sitting in the chair now. He was wearing a suit, like a regular suit. Or, well, not regular. It was a bit strange, because he had never seen him like that. He was wearing a gray suit with a flower pattern he had seen in the League. He was wearing a black vest with the same pattern, including an emerald green tie.

“Oliver, son. You do not look well.” He said, looking at him with concerned eyes.

“What are you doing here?” He whispered.

“I’m here to tell you you’re going to be free soon. I have issued your release.” He said quietly.

“What do you mean?” He shot back.

“Right at this moment, there is a volunteer from the League confessing to be the Arrow. Taking all the blame off your shoulders. We have arranged it to look quite convincing. All the evidence will hold up and you will be free.” Oliver frowned, he didn’t understand.

“Why?” It was all Oliver managed to get out.

“Because I do not wish to see you like this. You are supposed to be the next heir, and you were supposed to marry my daughter and make her happy.”

“How can I make her happy like this? I’m better off being in here, I’ve lost my mind.”

“You and me both know that you being in here doesn’t help anything.” Ra’s said it with conviction, and he looked at Oliver like he knew he was struggling with the Arrow.

“Why are you so focused on it being me? Can’t you just find someone else, let your daughter find someone else?” Oliver asked. He didn’t want to go back to her like this.

“No, son. I care for you like you were my own. I did not wish to see you like this, and I’ll do anything to make you healthy. If you’d please prepare yourself, you’ll be out of here soon.”

With that he disappeared. And boy, was he good at this. Oliver was freed two hours later.

 

He got home later that night. Felicity ran towards him and wrapped her arms around him. He stood there, not moving.

“Oliver. Oh I’m so glad you’re back!” She sobbed a bit.

He stood there, staring at the living room.

“I’m not back, Felicity.” He whispered. Not loud enough for her to hear though.


	23. The Courage or The Fall

 

Man wasn't made to live alone

That's why I have my enemies

Whenever I close my eyes

They're all I can see

Every man needs his savior

Every savior needs his task

_But which one am I, the man or the one behind the mask?_

What comes first, the courage or the fall?

 

Is that a savior outside my window?

Or is that a reflection of me?

 

_-Civil Twilight_

_2027_

_Oliver Queen_

_“How did it make you feel? What was it like, being insane?”_

_Oliver stared down at his hands, his fingers still rubbing together. They were out of his control, he never controlled his fingers when this happened. It had become like this. It was a constant reminder that he was not fully in charge of himself._

_Oliver had to think for a while. His fingers were still rubbing together._

_“It… It was like someone controlled each and every thought that went past my mind, putting in thoughts and memories I would want to forget. It was terrifying, not being able to control yourself or your actions like that.”_

 

“Tell me about the time after you were freed from prison. How were you?”

“I wasn’t completely fine, but Felicity was helping so much. Each and every day she would take care of me. After maybe a year I started to become more stable than what I’d been for such a long time, maybe even in all those years.”

“So you spent a year with Felicity after the time in the asylum?”

“Yes, and we forgot about the Arrow. We only focused on being together and working on Queen Consolidated. We turned the company around, and we started working towards helping people.”

“Sounds like being with Felicity made you better.”

“It did. She was like…” He smiled, for maybe the first time in years, as he thought of her. Tears were filling his eyes as he continued. “She was like a cure, and she was like an angel. She was my light, and she saved me.”

“Sounds like you really loved her.”

“I did. I really did. I’ve loved her more than anything else in the world. Or wait, that’s not _completely_ true, there was someone who shared the first place, but we’re not there in the story yet.”

“One thing I’m curious about Oliver is that Felicity makes you better, you said that yourself. You explained to me that you left her because you were afraid of yourself, that you had gone crazy. But why not stay with her, and become better again? One thing I’m certain of is that she loved you too, so why hurt her like this by leaving her?”

“I’m not sure if you know this thing that happens when you become familiar with something. My father used to get these headaches. Every day he’d complain about a headache, and he’d take a pill so that it would go away. But after a while they stopped working because they were just not effective anymore once he had taken them every day like that. He depended on them and he became too familiar and too dependent on them. That’s what happened with me too. Sure, Felicity would have helped me some, but how could I risk their safety like that? What if I’d gone crazy one day, and snapped? I could have let the Arrow get the overhand again and he would kill her just like he told me he would do. I could not risk that. Never.”

“So you were fine until that night seven years ago?”

“No. After a year out from prison, I started to slip again. I realized I needed to fully let go of the Arrow, and start a peaceful life. I had gotten in touch with Roy Harper, whom John Diggle informed me had stepped in for me that year I was gone. He took care of the crime and all that. While he was busy, I realized what I needed to do to move on.”

“What was that?”

“I married her.”

“Did it work?”

“Yes, but it wasn’t really the marriage that helped me, it was before that. She told me… she told me something, something so amazing and beautiful that changed our lives so much. After that I didn’t look back. After that… I married her.”


	24. Saturn

You taught me the courage of stars

 before you left.

How light carries on endlessly

even after death.

With shortness of breath

 you explained the infinite.

How rare and beautiful it is

 to even exist.

 

I couldn’t help but ask

For you to say it all again.

I tried to write it down

But I could never find a pen.

I’d give anything to hear

You say it one more time,

That the universe was made

_Just to be seen by my eyes._

 

With shortness of breath

 I’ll explain the infinite

How rare and beautiful

 it truly is

 that we exist.

 

_-Sleeping At Last_

_2018_

_Oliver Queen_

Oliver sat on his bed with the box in his hands. He opened the box and looked at what was inside. It was a silver ring shaped like an arrow. It had diamonds all over it. He knew it was a bit lame, but arrows had been a part of his life for such a long time, and the shape held a special meaning to him.

He was sitting there in a grey suit. He was wearing a white shirt, dark gray vest and darker gray tie, and a light gray suit jacket that was currently lying beside him on the bed.

If he had learned anything in those eight years that he had been in the League it was to know when someone was hiding in the shadows.

“Please, you insult me by thinking I won’t notice you. Please come out from hiding.”

Ra’s al Ghul stepped out and greeted Oliver with a bow.

“It’s good to see you again, Oliver Queen, and it is also good to see you have not lost your senses, even after you lost your mind.” He looked at Oliver with questioning eyes.

“What is it you want?”

“I came here to deliver some news, but I see you have some news of your own. I see it is going well between you and my daughter?”

“Why are you asking me those things?”

“It is important to me that my daughter is happy, and that she is loved by someone who means it.”

“What was your other news?”

“I came to tell you that Slade Wilson has not been heard from in several days. We suspect he has left to once again kill you. When he heard of your resurrection he was not pleased.”

“What am I supposed to do with this information? I’m not the Arrow anymore, and I refuse to go back. It is not good for me or Felicity.”

“Nor do we ask you to. I simply came as a precaution. I ask of you to keep an eye out, and to watch over my daughter.”

“I will.”

“Good.” With that he left into the shadows once again and disappeared. Oliver was left sitting there on the bed.

“Hey babe, you coming? We don’t want to be late for our dinner appointment.” Oliver didn’t answer.

“Oliver? Are you okay?” Felicity hesitated on coming into the room. “If you’re just going to sit there I’ll still order for two and then I’ll eat your food too. I’m going to have to go on an extra work out for that but you know I can do it.”

Oliver smiled a bit as he stood up and put on his suit jacket. He stood there watching Felicity in a black dress. It was beautiful, and he could stand there watching her forever.

“You look beautiful. And we wouldn’t want you to overeat”

“Come on, you big dork.” He walked over to her and pressed a light kiss to her lips. They got into the car and drove to the restaurant. He was a bit nervous, he really wanted to go through with it.

They walked into the Italian restaurant and sat down at their table. When they had ordered their food he exhaled loudly.

“Everything alright?” Felicity said and looked over at him with confused eyes.

“Yes, well there was something I wanted to talk to you about.” He said seriously.

“Oh, you’re not breaking this up are you? Because we’ve known each other for… three years give or take now, and we’ve been together for about half that time. Well, technically you were gone for a whole year so that would mean I’ve only known you for two years, but then again you were in my thoughts all that year so… it’s complicated. But we have known each other for some time now! I mean, if you were breaking up it would totally be your choice, but I just don’t think you should. Well, maybe you have another side of it…” He interrupted her.

“Felicity! I’m not breaking up with you!” He laughed. She let out a sigh and laughed nervously.

“Then what was it?”

“I…” He couldn’t get out the words he wanted to say.

He wouldn’t have gotten the time anyway.

In the next moment he turned his head where he heard a strange sound, and his instincts didn’t fail him. In one swift motion he stood up and grabbed Felicity and brought her down onto the floor as a missile blasted the whole restaurant to pieces.

 

He had blacked out for a moment, and woke up to a ringing sound in his ears. After a while he could hear the faint sound of screams and burning wood. His vision started to become clear again, and he could see Felicity’s eyes looking up at him from where she was lying under him.

“Are you okay Oliver?” She said and coughed a bit. The whole restaurant, or what was left of it, was filled with smoke and rubble.

“I’m fine, how are you?” He coughed back.

“Okay, I think. Oliver I shouldn’t be in here with all the smoke, I wanted to say it before but…”

“Felicity you’re right we need to get out of here. This is Slade Wilson, I should have told you but Ra’s warned me before we got here that he hadn’t been heard from.”

“Oliver…”

“We need to get out of here.”

Oliver tried to stand up, and helped Felicity up too. He started to walk towards the back with Felicity right behind him holding his hand, but he suddenly felt a pain in his side and he tumbled against the nearest wall grabbing his side.

“Oliver! You’re hurt!” Felicity said as she opened his suit jacked and found him bleeding.

“I’m fine, we need to get out of here…” He said lazily.

His vision blurred and he felt dizzy for a moment. He slumped against the floor as Felicity tried to help him.

All he could see before he fainted was Felicity being grabbed by someone behind her.

 

He slowly started to come to his senses as he woke up. When he felt the ties around his hand he started to panic. Sweat dripped from his forehead, and his vision blurred. He felt sick, and he couldn’t hear anything.

Suddenly he could hear someone shouting from the same room. It was a woman, and her voice got louder and louder. It was Felicity.

“…’Licity?” He said lazily and it was all he managed to get out.

“Oliver! Are you okay?” She shouted. He looked around in the room, it was dark and he couldn’t see anything in front of him. There had to be a light bulb behind him, because the room was lit from behind him.

“Felicity where are you?” He started to panic and look around, he was bound to a chair with his hands tied behind him.

“I think I’m behind you. I could hear you grunt in pain, so I knew you had to be somewhere in this room.”

“What’s happening?”

“It’s Slade. He bombed the restaurant so that he would kill us. He didn’t succeed so he brought us here.”

“I’m sorry Felicity.”

“It wasn’t your fault Oliver.” It got silent for a while and he could hear her breathing. She had to be right behind him.

“Oliver?” She asked quietly.

“Yeah?”

“I need to tell you something I was going to tell you in the restaurant.” That was odd, since he was the one who were going to propose.

“Okay.” He said. She waited a while before speaking.

“I’m pregnant.” She said, and when he heard that his heart started beating so fast.

“I was going to tell you, but I wanted to wait until I was sure. About two weeks ago I started to feel sick in the morning, and a week ago I took a test. I didn’t know when to tell you, and I wanted it to be special so I asked you to go out on a fancy restaurant.”

He could feel a tear sliding down his cheek.

“You haven’t said anything. Are you mad at me?” She asked, sounding worried.

She could hear a grunt of pain and suddenly Oliver was standing in front of her.

“How could I be mad at you?” He said and touched her face. He got her out of her ties and lifted her up and started running. They got into a hallway, and after running a while he could hear voices and the sound of a sword fight.

Suddenly Ra’s came bursting out one of the doors with a sword in his hand. He swung it once, and Slade fell through the door as well.

“You dare risk the lives of my daughter and my heir?” He shouted so loud Oliver felt his heart start to beat fast.

“I will not grant you the mercy of death, you will be held prisoner, and you will suffer so much that you will beg for me to kill you each and every day.” Slade grunted in pain as he was lying on the ground with Ra’s sword to his neck.

Ra’s looked over to Oliver and Felicity.

“Get out of here. I’ll deal with him.”

They got out of there and headed for home.

 

He was standing on the rooftop of their new apartment’s building looking over the city. It was dark now, and he loved being up here and watching the lights, just thinking.

“Hey you.” He heard Felicity behind him. She walked up beside him and leant on the railing.

“Hey.” He said softly.

“Maybe we should talk a bit, about what I said in the warehouse.”

Oliver looked over to her and turned towards her. He put a hand on her belly. She hadn’t started showing yet, but he did it as a loving gesture. She put her hand over his.

“So we’re having a baby, huh?”  He smiled down to her.

“Yeah.” She said, tears filling her eyes. “I was going to ask you to come to the doctor appointment with me next week.”

“Of course.” He said kissing her.

“I wanted to ask you something too.” He said when he pulled away.

“What was it?” She said looking up at him.

He took the box out from his jacket and opened it. Her eyes grew big when she saw the arrow-shaped ring.

“Oh my god, Oliver.” She said and put a hand over her mouth.

“I was going to ask you right before the bomb. I realized something, though. We haven’t exactly had a normal relationship.” She giggled a bit before he continued. “And therefore I wanted to do something different. I’m not a go-on-your-knees-and-propose kind of guy, so I’m not gonna go on my knees. I’m just going to ask you.” She looked up at him with teary, happy eyes. “Felicity, do you want to marry me?” He asked, holding up the box.

“Yes you big dork!” She said and pulled him down for a kiss. They kissed a while before he pulled back and took out the ring from the box. He placed it on her finger.

“I know it’s lame that it is an arrow, after all that has happened…”

“No, it’s not.”

“I was going to buy you a ring, but remembered this one. I made it myself.”

“What?” She looked at him shocked.

“When I was in the League, after I had died, they didn’t use me for a while. It was when Ra’s was helping me get over the brainwashing. I was thinking of you, and I made this.”

“It’s beautiful. I wouldn’t have any other ring.” She said and kissed him again. They kissed for a while.

And a few weeks later they would be kissing as husband and wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ring: http://ep.yimg.com/ay/tpa/cupid-s-wrapped-cz-arrow-ring-sterling-silver-4.jpg  
> Also, Felicity is wearing the black dress she wore in 1x04 of the flash :) http://cdn2.wornon.tv/tiles/bcbgmaxazria-ava-gown-black-emily-bett-rickards-flash.jpg


	25. The Unknown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OLIVER'S SUIT:  
> http://blog.purentonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/calvin-klein-whiter-label-01.jpg  
> FELICITY'S DRESS:  
> http://i01.i.aliimg.com/wsphoto/v0/32271257737_5/Modest-Lace-Mermaid-vestido-de-noiva-2015-New-Sexy-capina-vestido-longo-Backless-vestidos-de-noiva.jpg

Woman, help me

You turn my head in circles

Mama, blessed me

With magnet eyes for purple

Oh, so let me show you something good

 

Pastor, preacher

I want to say I'm sorry

Nice to meet ya

I think my eyes are starry

Pledge allegiance to my only

 

Sooner or later it all comes around

Hopefully then I will see

After the people and places are gone

_You will come back,_

_You will come back to me, to me, to me_

_You will come back to me, to me, to me_

_-Imagine Dragons_

_2018_

_Oliver Queen_

He drew the blade over his chin. Watching the hairs disappear as he drew the razor over the white shaving cream. He turned the sink on and splashed water on his face to get the cream off. He then grabbed the towel and dried the water off. He hadn’t shaved like this in years, he’d only trimmed it. Even before he’d started in the army he’d always have the usual five o’ clock shadow. It was the look he’d chosen for himself, but he hadn’t been in this special situation before either. He was staring back at a much younger version of himself. His hair was a bit longer now, and he didn’t want to cut it short again after he’d been in prison so he let it stay like this. The wedding was tomorrow, so he figured at least he’d get a bit of five o’ clock shadow before that. He really hated this clean-shaven look. He looked at his suit, it was hanging there ready for him. Only one night’s sleep and he’d be wearing it. He felt butterflies in his stomach and he reached for the note that was folded nicely at his desk. It was his vows, he had written them earlier today, but he wasn’t sure if he should use them or if he should just improvise. It made him nervous, he didn’t want to read from a note, but he didn’t want to screw it up either. He decided to not think about it and went to bed. He was sleeping alone because Felicity insisted they would not see each other until the wedding. It was a stupid tradition, in his opinion. As he thought about the wedding, he slowly drifted to sleep.

 

He woke up in a jolt, slowly panicking as he saw the sun shining outside. He looked at his clock. With a relieved sigh he fell onto the bed again, he hadn’t overslept. He went into the kitchen and made some coffee and breakfast. Felicity was staying with Sara, so he had the entire apartment to himself. He could see the sunrise, their entire living room and kitchen were surrounded with glass walls, so they could view the entire city from their penthouse apartment. Felicity didn’t want a fancy, exclusive, and expensive apartment like this, but she stopped arguing once she saw the view. It was a bit more luxurious than what he’d imagined, but he loved the view so much.

 

He had put on the suit later that day, it was one Felicity had picked out for him. It was very fancy, and Felicity had said she wanted to see him in it, so he chose that one. It was a Calvin Klein suit, which was a creamy white color, and with a gray tie. When he was finished dressing he looked in the mirror. He saw himself, with a fancy suit, a fancy hair style and an almost clean shaven face. He wasn’t scared by how much he had changed over these years, he was glad of the person he saw in the mirror. He was going to become a father in a few months and he was going to be a husband. He had retired the Arrow, and he was ready to finally let himself be completely happy.

“Looking good.” A voice said behind him. It was Sara. He turned around and smiled at her. She was wearing a gray dress, one that matched his tie. She smiled at him and hugged him.

“You look good yourself.” He said and laughed a bit.

“I’m here to check that you’re not fleeing.” Sara joked.

“Well, that would be kind of stupid, I was the one who proposed this wedding.” He joked back.

“So I’ve been thinking about something.”

“What’s that?”

“You remember that night, don’t you?”

“What night?”

“The night I told you that you couldn’t be with Felicity.” Oliver hesitated for a minute.

“Yeah I do.”

“I’m so glad you didn’t listen.” Sara smiled, her eyes glassy.

“Well, you should thank drunk me who thought you were acting a bit rude.” Oliver said and laughed. She giggled and put her hands on his shoulders.

“You can do this. You picked a great one.” Sara said and winked to him. He smiled back.

“Is Felicity ready? How’s she doing? She’s not drinking your champagne is she, because you need to be careful so she doesn’t drink the one with alcohol…”

“It’s okay, _dad_. She’s fine, and no she doesn’t drink the one with alcohol. And your not either are you? You promised her you wouldn’t.”

“I haven’t.”

“Let’s get you hitched. It’s time.” Sara said and smiled.

 

He was standing at the altar, with Diggle at his side. On the other side stood Sara, who were currently making eyes with a woman in the audience. They were outside, and it was perfect. The sun was still shining, and the May weather were perfect. The orchestra started playing, and he could spot Felicity walking down the aisle with her step-dad beside her. She was wearing a beautiful white lace flower dress, with her hair in waves down her shoulders. She looked perfect, and she looked more beautiful than ever. When she had walked up to him he reached for her hand and she placed hers in his.

The priest started talking for what felt like forever, because all Oliver wanted to do was kiss her and call her his wife. When they finally reached their vows, Sara and Diggle gave them their rings. Felicity started and placed the ring on Oliver’s finger.

“Oliver, my life before I met you was ordinary. It wasn’t anything of the things I had planned out, I was just a girl applying for a job at QC. But then I met you, and you made my life so amazing. You took me into your house, you told me about your past and you became my best friend. You made my life exciting, and to times a lot of struggle.” The audience and Oliver laughed a bit before she continued. “But I don’t regret anything. My life with you has been amazing and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you, Oliver.”

Oliver blinked away the tears that had started to appear in his eyes, and decided to improvise with his vows. He placed the ring on her finger.

"Felicity... I could probably stand here all day... And then it would get dark and everyone would freeze." Everyone laughed. "But I could stand here all day, just looking at you and talk about you. So I've been thinking of the right words to say to you, and because I could go on forever, I'll just tell the story of a lost man. He travelled the whole world for a long time, never truly knowing or understanding what he was looking for. He was lost, trying to search in such a big place, it wasn't until he returned home to his city, this little place on this earth that he found, and then realized what he'd been looking for all along. All along, it had been right there in his home. And what he found was you. I found you, and you saved me, and you became my best friend, my family, my lover and the love of my life. Now here I stand today, at our wedding, and all I know is that you have brought amazing color into my life, and you have opened up my heart and showed me things I never realized was possible. Now on this day, I will promise to love you, to cherish you, to protect you and to hold you for the rest of my life. I love you, Felicity. I love you so much."

Felicity had started to cry, and the tears were falling down her cheeks. He dried them with his hand as he stared into her eyes.

“Felicity, do you take Oliver as your husband, and promise to cherish him, be true to him and to love him for the rest of your life, in sickness and in health?”

“I do.”

“Oliver, do you take Felicity as your wife, and promise to cherish her, be true to her and love her for the rest of your life, in sickness and in health?”

“I do.” As soon as Oliver said those words he felt his heart flutter.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oliver, you may kiss the bride.”

“Fuck yeah.” Oliver mouthed with his lips so that only Felicity would see it, and she did. She started laughing and he pressed his lips to hers. He placed his arms around her waist and lowered her down as he kissed her. They stayed like that, while people were throwing white rose pedals all around them.

 

Later they sat at their table while everyone else was getting drunk and dancing. They just sat there, Oliver whispering sweet things in her ear, every now and then he would kiss her for a while. She had just started showing her baby bump, and to be fair to her he had promised her to not drink. So they sat there drinking alcohol free champagne. Oliver didn’t need the alcohol, he had Felicity. That was all that mattered to him.

When the party had slowed down, it was time for them to leave on their honeymoon. There was a black Porsche waiting for them, and when they drove off everyone cheered. They had been driving for a while when Felicity spoke.

“Where are we going?” She asked, looking to Oliver who was driving, and behind him it was a beautiful sunset and a beach.

“We’re just going to drive.” Oliver put on some sunglasses. Felicity thought he looked really fancy with his creamy suit jacket and his white shirt. He had taken off the tie when they had driven off.

“What?”

“We’re gonna get out of the city for a while and just live. Tonight we’ll drive until we find a cabin. Then we’ll make love and enjoy life. After that we’ll start thinking of where we should settle down with a house. A child needs a house.” Oliver looked at her and put a hand on her belly.

“Of course, a baby girl needs everything we can give her.” Oliver turned his head towards her with his mouth open in shock.

“A girl?” He said smiling.

“Yeah, I went to the doctor yesterday. I wanted to wait after we were married.” Oliver leaned over to her and kissed her on the mouth. It was a simple gesture, and he returned to watching the road.

“God, I love you.” He said, smiling.

 


	26. All Through The Night

_All through the night,_

_I'll be awake and I'll be with you._

All through the night,

this precious time, when time is new.

All, all through the night today,

knowing that we feel the same,

without saying, the same without saying

 

We have no past,

we won't reach back

Keep with me forward all through the night,

And once we start, the meter clicks,

it goes running all through the night.

 

Until it ends there is no end,

keep with me forward all through the night

and once we start, the meter clicks,

and goes running all through the night.

Until it ends,

there is no end,

keep with me forward all through the night.

Keep with me all through the night.

 

_-Sleeping At Last_

_2018_

_Oliver Queen_

“You know what I’ve been thinking?” Oliver sat in the chair reading the newspaper at their apartment. He had his feet on the table and Felicity was sitting curled in the corner of the sofa with a blanket and a cup of tea. It was a Sunday, and the November weather had made it really cold in the city, and Oliver knew it was Felicity’s favorite time of the year. He knew she loved cuddling up in the sofa with a blanket and a warm cup of tea.

“What?” She said and sipped her tea as her glasses were sitting low on her nose as she read something on her tablet.

“You know, I’m 35 and you’re 28, that’s seven years in difference.”

“So?”

“So, I’m probably going to start to get gray hairs soon. I’ve actually found some.”

“Babe, I know that. You’re already starting to get a dad belly.”

“What?” Oliver looked down at his belly. Sure, he wasn’t the Arrow anymore and they had been married for about half a year now, he’d started to grow a long beard too. Not too long, but longer than his usual five o’ clock shadow. He was enjoying married settled-down-life with Felicity, and he’d been a bit laid-back this year…

“But don’t worry, I love your cute belly, babe. It’s so nice to just hold it at night. I love holding it now that it’s soft.”

“I think I’m starting to get lazy with you Felicity. Here I am at a Sunday reading the paper. You know what I used to do on a Sunday?”

“What?”

“I used to chase bad guys and criminals.”

“Even on a Sunday?”

“Yes. Even on a Sunday.”

Oliver looked over to Felicity. Her belly had gotten huge, only she had a good reason. She was due in a week, and he could not be more nervous than what he was right now. He was sure it would all be okay when she was born, but right now the time before he was getting really nervous. He was nervous about Felicity, if she was going to be okay.

He got up from his chair and sat beside her on the couch. He leant over and kissed her, gently at first. Then he started to get rougher.

“Whoa, Oliver. Babe, calm down. I’m due in a week, I’m really sorry but I don’t feel like sex right now.”

“No, it’s okay.” He chuckled. “I just wanted to kiss my wife.” He pecked her lightly on the lips again and put a hand on her stomach. He leant down and pulled up her sweater to kiss her belly. She giggled when he did that, and he started whispering into her belly.

“What are you whispering?” She laughed.

“I’m just telling our girl that I can’t wait to meet her.” Felicity’s eyes were starting to tear up.

“Well, then, tell her I can’t wait to meet her too, oh and that she better be grateful after I push her out. That’s gonna hurt…”

“Hey, don’t be scared. I know I can’t help with the pain, and that I can’t imagine how much it’s gonna hurt…”

“I could kick you in the balls, I’ve heard it’s more painful than giving birth.”

“Okay, besides that, I just wanted to tell you that I’m gonna do everything I can to help you.” Felicity cupped his face and smiled at him.

“Thank you, babe.”

“Everything for you. I love you.” Oliver looked up at her and shot her a dirty look. She laughed and pushed him away.

“Go get me some ice cream from the freezer.”

“Right away miss.”

 

Oliver was in a big board meeting at work when he got the call. They had to have an emergency board meeting later that day because of some issues. He had to excuse himself and walked out of the room. When the nurse told him Felicity had started her labor his heart nearly stopped. He ran towards the elevator, rode it down and ran out of the building. He didn’t think, he just ran. He ran all the way to the hospital as fast as he could. When he got inside after fifteen minutes of running he was sweaty and panting. He continued running until he got to the room where Felicity was giving birth. She was sweating too, everything was happening so fast. She was pushing wile the doctors were cheering her on. Oliver loosened his tie, and one of the nurses handed him some scrubs. He put them on and took Felicity’s hand in his. She squeezed it so hard he thought she might have broken it, but he held her hand and cheered her on too. He was terrified.

 

After an hour of screams and pushes the doctors finally revealed their daughter. A tear was falling down Oliver’s cheek as he saw their newborn daughter. She was so beautiful. Felicity was panting and crying happy tears as the doctors cleaned her off and wrapped her in a blanket. She was bright red and screaming, but he had never seen anything more beautiful. The tears kept falling from his eyes, and he watched in silence as the doctors laid their daughter in Felicity’s arms. She was crying so much and occasionally laughing. She started at their baby for minutes, whispering and crying.

“Oliver, come here.” Felicity finally said after a while. He sat down on the bed and watched his daughter barely opening her eyes before she fell asleep in Felicity’s arms.

“Oliver, what’s her name?” Felicity whispered.

“Sophie.” He whispered as he put a hand gently on her head. “Is that okay? My mother died when she was carrying my sister, her name was supposed to be Sophie. Is that okay?”

“It’s perfect. I love it so much.” Felicity said and started crying more. “Hello Sophie.”

Sophie Queen was born 8:27 PM on November 18, 2018.

 

 

 

 

 


	27. Dance Little Liar

 

I heard the truth was built to bend

A mechanism to suspend the guilt

Is what you are requiring still

You've got to dance little liar

 

_And after you have dabbed the patch you'll grieve_

And then proceed to scratch the varnish off

That newly added calmness

So as not to raise any alarms too soon

 

The liar takes a lot less

 

Time to decide on his saunter

Have you got itchy bones

And in all your time alone

_Can you hack your mind being riddled_

_with the wrong memories_

 

And the clean coming will hurt

And you can never get it spotless

When there's dirt between the dirt

 

_-Arctic Monkeys_

_2020_

_Oliver Queen_

It had been two years since his daughter was born, and a few months since his son had been born. Sophie and Lucas Queen. His life had been wonderful since then, and it was because he had a normal life, or as normal as he could get. They were still working at Queen Consolidated, so their life was a bit busy. Yet they always found time for their family, and since they were co-CEOs they would take turns going to work and staying home.

But it wasn’t until November that year that everything went wrong, and everything was ruined.

 

Oliver was standing in his office looking over some papers, it was closing hours so he would soon go home to Felicity and their kids. If only he had known he would never get home to Felicity like he always did, he would never kiss her casually on the mouth whenever he got home. He should have known though, because he was planning on betraying the promise he gave to Ra’s about taking the throne.

 

“Mr. Queen, I see the years have caught up on you. How long has it been now?” Ra’s stepped inside his office and Oliver turned around. He looked a bit older than what he remembered, a little more worn out.

“Almost three years, and I wouldn’t have minded more. What are doing here?”

“I’m here to see you. I heard you had a daughter and a son? You are very lucky to be blessed with two children, and it pleases me to hear that my daughter is happy.”

“You didn’t just come here to talk about my children and see how I were. I’m gonna ask you once more; what are you doing here?”

“Oh, you’ll know soon. Take care for now, Mr. Queen, and say hi to Felicity from me. I won’t be visiting for a few years, I have some business to attend. I believe I’ll see you in seven years.” He turned around and walked out. What was he doing here?

It wasn’t until he had almost finished all the papers that he understood.

“Felicity!” He said, and started running out of his office. He didn’t get to the elevator, though. He heard a loud bang, and the entire building shook. He fell over from the shaking and hit his head on one of the chairs outside his office. It all went black.

 

He woke up a minute after and the entire floor was starting to disappear. He couldn’t breathe properly; there was smoke everywhere. He needed to get out before the entire building collapsed. This was Ra’s. He knew it.

 

 

_Felicity Smoak Queen_

_“Breaking news! The Queen Consolidated building is currently collapsing as a bomb went off! Sources say that Oliver Queen had not taken the rest of the day off when the bomb went off, and is said to still be trapped inside the building.”_

“Oh my god!” Felicity was holding Lucas in her arms while Sophie was running around. They had heard the explosion from the building and woken up. She called Diggle immediately once she saw the news and he rushed over as fast as he could.

“Felicity, how are you?” He said and picked up Sophie.

“I’m fine, but I can’t take care of the kids right now I need you to take them, okay? I need to find Oliver!” She sobbed and she handed Lucas over to him.

“Look, it’s fine I’ll take them, but you can’t go over there the building is collapsing! You need to stay here, where it’s safe and wait until there’s news. Okay?”

“Okay.” The tears had started to fall in streams down her face.

“I’ll put them to bed at my place, at least until you know more about Oliver. Bye.” He walked them out and Felicity was left alone in their apartment. She walked over to the living room and looked out the glass walls. She could see the building collapsing. She cried as she watched it disappear from the skyline.

Suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her belly, and when she looked down she could see a blade sticking out. She immediately fell on the floor while she clutched her stomach.

She could see the face of the man who had stabbed her. He was an older man, and he had an eye patch on his right eye.

“I once stabbed your husband with this sword. Your father held me prisoner, but now I’ll have my revenge. He took my eye, and he tortured me and starved me. Now I take his daughter, and he’ll be tortured in a different way. Now I have revenge for both Ra’s and Oliver. Revenge is sweet.” He disappeared from her view. And she turned her head and saw the smoke from their building coating the sky and coloring it grey.

 

 

_Oliver Queen_

He was running towards the building with their apartment. He turned his head towards the QC building and watched as it collapsed. He reached their building after a few minutes of running and took the elevator to their apartment. He stormed inside, and his heart stopped when he reached the living room.

“Felicity?” He was barely able to get a word out.

Felicity was lying on the floor, her blood pooling under her and her bloody hand desperately clutching her stomach. She was pale and looked like she didn’t have much time left. His knees gave out and he fell to the floor.

“Oliver, you made it out.” She said, but her voice was so weak he barely heard her.

“I’m here, I’m okay. We need to get you to a hospital. Okay? You’re gonna be fine.” He said, tears streaming down his face.

“I’m sorry, Oliver. I don’t think I’m going to make it.”

Oliver took her hand and replaced the one on her stomach with his. He brought her hand to his face and sobbed into it.

“Please don’t leave me Felicity. I can’t lose you.”

“The kids, Oliver, they need their dad.” He cried even more when he heard her say it. She had started crying too, and she was looking weaker and weaker. When he felt her hand go limp, he shot his eyes open and lifted her body into his arms.

“No! No Felicty! Stay with me, come on, stay with me!” He sobbed. He held her tight ad he buried his face into her lifeless body and cried.

“I love you.” He sobbed softly. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

He felt his arms letting go of her, and he sat there in silence and felt himself stop crying. His expression went blank as he sat there. He could feel that he was starting to lose himself. He let out a loud roar before he lay down beside her in silence.

 

 

_Four months later_

He was sitting in a chair in the hospital. He was meeting with a new therapist, the last one didn’t fit, and Oliver knew he wasn’t up for the task.

“Hi, you must be Oliver Queen. My name is Iris West, and I’ll be your new therapist.”

“Pleasure.”

“Now, tell me about your life.”

Oliver thought about his last moment before he went mad. The night Felicity died. He had been torn between leaving or staying with his kids, but he decided to leave. The kids were better off without him. Now he knew they would get better, because he delivered her to Ra’s. He didn’t hear from Ra’s for a while, but last week he got a letter. She was alive, and there were no side effects. He had sent her home to their kids, but he had told her not to look for Oliver. He couldn’t return to her like this. He had known it all along that she didn’t deserve a life like that. She deserved to move on and find someone else.

“My life didn’t really start until I returned in 2015.”

 

 


	28. Shots

_I'm sorry for everything_

_Oh, everything I've done_

 

Am I out of touch?

Am I out of my place?

When I keep saying that I'm looking for an empty space

Oh, I'm wishing you're here

But I'm wishing you're gone

I can't have you and I'm only gonna do you wrong

 

Oh, I'm going to mess this up

Oh, this is just my luck

Over and over and over again

 

I'm sorry for everything

Oh, everything I've done

From the second that I was born it seems I had a loaded gun

And then I shot, shot, shot a hole through everything I loved

Oh, I shot, shot, shot a hole through every single thing that I loved

 

_-Imagine Dragons_

_2027_

_Oliver Queen_

“So, after she died you came here?” Iris was writing the last bit of information down.

“Yes. Then right before I met you I got a letter saying that she was alive, and that she was okay. After a while, maybe three or four years after that, I saw that she had married Ray Palmer. I was a bit sad, but I knew he would be a good husband and a good father. That’s all I wanted.”

She looked down in her book with a sad expression.

“Hey, it’s okay.”

“You’re not letting yourself be with the one you love, that isn’t okay to me.” He looked down at her hand. He’d noticed the ring had appeared on her hand a few years ago.

“You’re married.” He said and gave her a smile.

“Yeah, for three years. His name is Barry.” Oliver frowned. “What?” She noticed.

“No, it’s nothing… Is your husband’s name Barry Allen?” He couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah why?” She looked confused.

“It’s just that, right before Felicity and I got together there was this guy who took her to the fundraiser…” She opened her mouth in shock.

“Oh my God!” She started laughing.

“I felt bad for the kid, he looked like a nice guy. At the time I was a bit jealous, so I never really got to know him.”

“He’s amazing. Wow, it’s a small world, right?”

“It’s small, but also too big.” He looked down at his hands.

“So, now that I’ve written down all the facts and stories about your life, what’s next?”

“I’ve gotten to my end here, it’s been seven years.”

“What?”

“I’m gonna leave, and you’re gonna take care of that information, it might be fantastic for a book one day.”

 

 

He was wearing his league outfit as he walked outside the church. He had never been a religious man in his life, but he needed some kind of forgiveness if he was going to get through this day.

He walked inside the church, it was late and the church was empty, but he wanted to confess. He got inside the booth and waited a while before talking.

“I’ve never actually done this, so I don’t know how.”

“You want to make confessions?” He heard the other side respond, and he took a deep breath.

“Yes.” He waited a while before continuing.

“I’ve sinned. A lot.”

“Sins can be forgiven, one only needs to have the courage to ask for forgiveness.” A tear fell down his cheek.

“But… Can I be forgiven, for all that I’ve done?”

 

 

The night was starting to become morning as he stood in the new Queen Consolidated building. Felicity and Ray had worked really hard to make it look like it used to, but with a hint of a bit more modern. He looked across the city, as the sky became lighter and lighter. He scratched his head, which was now shaven. He decided to shave off his long hair, and his long beard. He was left with very short hair and barely a bit five o’ clock shadow.

“Seven years, it’s been.” Ra’s appeared behind him. He looked even more worn out than what he’d been that night seven years ago. He looked _old._

“Seven years today.”

“Thought you might have forgotten about what I said.”

“I haven’t forgotten a word.” He was holding his bow in his hand, he hadn’t used it in so many years. He noticed Ra’s also was holding a bow and not his preferred sword, and he was keeping a long distance between them at all times.

“You must have wondered why I did what I did.”

“Yes, I have. I have also wondered why you sent someone to kill Felicity, only to have her resurrected.”

“It was Slade Wilson who killed Felicity. He escaped the night before, when I said I needed time to do my own business I was tracking him down.”

“But why did you bomb the building?”

“Don’t you think I’ve known about your plans on betraying me? I know you were never planning on becoming Ra’s.”

“So you were going to kill me?”

“I failed, and in case I failed I was going to return in seven years. Now I have discovered a new kind of punishment for you.”

“And what’s that?”

“Your family.” Oliver froze, and clutched his bow tight.

“Their your family too.”

“When my son disappointed me, I killed him. Now my daughter and son in law has disappointed me.” Oliver was shocked, he hadn’t known that he had killed his son.

“So you kill us?”

“Starting with you.” Ra’s grabbed an arrow and shot towards Oliver. He was able to duck it, and grabbed one and shot it towards Ra’s. They were standing on each side of the office, the cubicles between them.

He ducked behind one as Ra’s continued shooting, and once in a while he would surprise Ra’s and get up and shoot one. They stayed like that for a while, until Ra’s rushed towards him and pinned Oliver to the ground.

He hit him once across the face, but Oliver was able to get him off. In one swift moment he rolled them around, grabbed an arrow and stuck it in Ra’s’ chest. He heard Ra’s groan loudly. He got up and let out a relieved sigh. After that he grabbed another arrow and turned around. Ra’s wasn’t there. He had no idea how he had managed it, but he had gotten up and was aiming three arrows towards Oliver. He was pale and sweating a lot, but he stood tall.

“So that’s it? We’re both going to die?” Oliver asked.  
“If I’m going down, you’re going down too.” Ra’s panted.

Right before he let go, Oliver took out a gun and shot right after he heard Ra’s let go of the bowstring. He felt the arrows go through his stomach, and his knees gave out. As he slowly slumped to the floor he saw Ra’s laying on his back, face laying towards him, with blood pooling from his his head.

He pushed himself into a sitting position, and sat leaning towards the window. He was slumped against one of the offices and stared at the sun rising. He felt a sharp pain, and threw up blood. He knew he wouldn’t survive this.

As he sat there dying for a long time, he watched the sun rise upon his city, his last view.

 

 

_John Diggle_

He was rushing inside the Queen Consolidated building. Someone had called after hearing a gunshot in the building, and he had to get up at 6AM. The other officers were running in front of him and they all got inside the elevator. They didn’t know what they were going to see once they got up, all they knew was that someone had fired a gun.

When the elevator opened it got really quiet. They were all holding their gun and walking quietly inside.

When he got to the cubicles his heart nearly stopped. Oliver was sitting faced to the window with three arrows sticking out of his stomach. His friend, whom he hadn’t seen in seven years. He walked towards him and placed to fingers on his neck to feel for a pulse. He couldn’t find one. He was dead.

“It’s Oliver Queen! What the hell happened here?” One of the officers said.

“I have no idea.” He said, with a sad look on his face.

He looked at his friend, he looked kind of peaceful and he looked different. His hair was really short, and he didn’t have much of a beard. Suddenly, he noticed something in his hands. He opened his hand up and found a note. He read it;

_«If you’re reading this then that means I am dead. Firstly, I don’t want my family to grieve for too long, tell her to move on, tell her to live happily with her husband and make him a father to our children, a better one than I ever was, maybe even have some more children. Secondly, let Sara know about this letter, she was a friend of me while I was in the League but she was sent to Starling to watch over Felicity, and she will know what to do; free them. Once Ra’s died they were in my control. Now free them from their duty, let the League of Assassins end. Also, anyone who wishes to mourn Ra’s should be allowed. He might have been a psychopath but still he had his moments. Third, after you read this and take my body down to investigate my death you will discover that I could have called for help and survived until I got help, but I decided it was my time. But don’t call it a suicide, or me giving up, I simply let myself be granted the gift of death. I’ve suffered in pain far too long. Some wounds may heal on the outside, but every last one of my scars has hurt ever since I’ve gotten them. You get used to the pain, but it hurts. And I never told anyone, because I knew I did not deserve to do that. When I died my first year back, I knew I had to come back because I did not deserve to die. Now I granted myself that, and my wish came true. Lastly, don’t call my death a tragedy. Call it a sacrifice. Because that was what it was. Someone once asked me what and whom I was willing to sacrifice for this city. Now I know. I was always the sacrifice._

_-Oliver Jonas Queen»_


	29. Au Revoir

_Today I'm not myself_

_And you, you're someone else_

And all these rules don't fit

And all that starts can quit

 

What a peculiar state we're in

What a peculiar state we're in

 

Let's play a game

Where all of the lives we lead can change

Let's play a game

Where nothing that we can see, the same

 

We'll find other pieces to the puzzles

Slipping out under the locks

I can show you how many moves to check mate right now

We can take apart this life we're building

And pack it up inside a box

All that really matters is we're doing it right now

Right now

 

_-OneRepublic_

_2027_

_Felicity Smoak_

“Mrs. Smoak? You can see him now.” The doctor spoke in a quiet soft voice, sympathetic, one she would remember, and those words would haunt her. She got up and followed him into the room where her former husband lay. She held back the tears as she walked into the room and saw his lifeless body.

“I’m going to let you have a moment for yourself, if you want.” His voice was in the same tone as before, and he walked out. She was left alone in the dark room.

He was lying on the table, his hair was gone and only tiny beads of hair were left. His beard was gone and he was pale. She sat down on the chair beside the table and finally let the tears fall down. She gently stroked his head as she cried in silence.

“I haven’t seen you in seven years.” She took a deep breath. “I died, and suddenly I wasn’t dead anymore and you weren’t there. You left me, you left our kids. I hated you the first months, and I kept thinking how can a person just leave their family, their own kids, when they need them the most?” She wiped away the tears, but more just kept falling. “I hated you, I felt like all those years together were just a lie. But then I thought, one day, that maybe you had to leave. The world never heard from you, some just assumed you were dead, and after a while I believed them. Somehow that made it all easier, to not have to go to a funeral, or to watch you or even love you before you died. It was a lot easier. It also made marrying Ray even more difficult. I thought you were dead, and that made it so wrong. If you were alive, and just left me, it would have been much easier. I did it for the kids, and for myself.” She was still stroking his soft hairs.

“I’m sorry I didn’t look for you, I’m sorry you were in pain all those years. I wish I could have taken your suffering away, but I didn’t know you suffered. I’m sorry our days were only limited and that we never got a chance to grow old together. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry you died.” She couldn’t continue talking for a while, she was crying too much. After a while she was able to speak again.

“It’s okay, Oliver. It’s okay, Ollie. You’re safe now, you can let go. We’ll be fine. I’ll take care of them, and they won’t ever forget you and what you did for us. They won’t forget your sacrifice.”

She got up and leant over so that their faces were close. She gently kissed him, and the sensation was so wrong, because it wasn’t anything like all their kisses had ever been. He didn’t kiss back.

“I love you, Oliver.” She whispered against his lips and got up. She looked at him once more, lying there with one of the most peaceful looks she had ever seen him with. With one final look, she walked out.

She would never see him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have already written the last chapter, and I have it ready. I'll publish it soon. It's not really much, it's more like an extra addition. It's going to serve as the closing of this story.  
> I've had a lot of fun writing this story, and I hope you've enjoyed it. I'll probably start a new one soon, so if you liked this story and followed it you should look out for the next one and see if you like that one too :)  
> Thank you.


	30. Goodbye Brother

_-Goodbye Brother, Ramin Djawadi (Game of Thrones Soundtrack)_

_2027_

_Oliver Queen_

He opens his eyes, and he is not in that familiar place he thought he would end up. No, but he is in a familiar place. He is not standing in white sandy beaches, he is standing on that mountain. Around him light snow is falling, but he is not freezing. He hears her voice somewhere in his mind, and he knows it’s okay to be here. He is standing on the cliff, looking down at the roaring waters way down below him. This time it is different, he does not look down at it in fear, he accepts the waters. It does not frighten him, it calms him. Her words are still in his mind, telling him they’ll be fine and that it’s okay. Her words and the waves crashing underneath him finally makes him feel at peace. He looks down at his hands, and for the first time in half his life he sees them as clean. They are not covered in blood, they are just… clean. He feels peaceful, and once again looks down at the waters. They are not roaring anymore, it is now a beautiful shade of blue, one you see on television and want to jump into. With her final words in mind, a final love confession from her, he makes the final decision. It is a decision he accepts. He leans over, and falls downwards. When he hits the waters he does not feel regret, or fear, or pain, he embraces it. It is his final destination, and it is where he wants to be. He is floating in the deep waters, and it feels peaceful. It feels right. He is happy. There is no pain, no guilt, no emptiness, no loneliness, no sadness and no regret. There is only peace in his future. His final sacrifice has rewarded him peace.  
Goodbye, brother.


End file.
